A trip down memory road

un voyage sur la route de la mémoire

     I drove down past Mémoire road in the hour of darkness. The night in complete silence and the blacked out road only being lit by the front lights of my car. As I drive on I catch myself feeling drowsier and drowsier, every blink I make gets heavier and heavier. I hear laughter coming from behind me and when I blink once again my eyes open to a different scenery. I am a child again, it is a dark rainy afternoon in 1931 Paris France; I remember this afternoon like if it was just yesterday. It is strange being back here, I hear Marie laugh once again and then like if it was my duty I automatically say "ready or not here I come." I run around the place, stop and listen to Marie's laughter to try to pinpoint the location it's coming from. Then I remembered I have done this once before so I open the closet door and she comes out giggling "vous m'avez trouvé", you found me she says.

     I blink one more time and I am back on the dark road, I feel my heart sink with pain. Oh how I would do anything to see my beautiful Marie once again, I keep on driving on this road that seem to have no end. I blink again, it is 1935 and I am walking with Marie by my side. Such outstanding beauty, we sit down on a rock near Daumesnil lake and we talk. She smiles and I notice the way her short curly hair frames her face, this was the first time I told her how beautiful she was. We were only 14 but we knew even then that we would last forever.

     My eyes flickered and I was back on the dark road, I make a left turn and watch how the trees flow with the moving wind. I bat my eyes and it is 1937, the world now is not as fun as it once was. There is talk of war, they say the Germans are planning things but I had only one thing on my mind. I walk up to Marie's front porch and knock the door, she opens and I in all my nervousness get down on one knee and propose. At only 16 we married off, we were in love and we knew we would last forever.

     I am brought back to the now semi-dark road by a far bright light but yet close enough for me to notice. I take another left turn before this long trip takes me back to 1940, Marie has been diagnosed with cancer and to make it all worse I have been drafted. I was sent off to Narvik for an allied rescue but all I kept thinking about was my beautiful Marie. While I sat on that train my Marie was in pain and back home alone and I couldn't bare the thought of it. The war was gruesome, in Navik as we prepared for our ground assault I reminded myself of the reason for getting home, my beautiful Marie. The days passed and before I knew it I was moving from Narvik to Tromso; I saw things, things that no man would dare dream of seeing.

     I was starting to remember the horrid things I had once seen when the bright light brought me back to the road. I kept on driving, I turned on the radio and the song that comes on takes me back to 1942. The war has gotten worse than ever but I, I was being sent back to Paris. I was injured and even though I was in a massive amount of pain and covered in blood, I was happy. I was going to be able to see my Marie, to feel her warm touch to kiss her soft lips. I arrived at the hospital with the rest of the injured troops and the nurses all came running towards us. When a nurse got to me I saw the look of great horror in her face and I already knew that my injuries were much greater than I imagined. I couldn't feel my arms so I didn't move them, I tried moving my head but my neck was stiff and then I remembered that I had been victim to a great fire, it burned most of the lower half of my body and parts of my neck. The fire didn't attack me for that long, for I was quick and alarmed yet I was harmed and my body had second degree burns.

     I didn't get to see my Marie for the first few days I was in the hospital. I eagerly waited and waited until I decided to write her a letter. A nurse walks by me and I ask her if she could write and mail a letter for me, she agrees and writes the words I speak to her. "chère Marie, I have missed you and your warmth. I am home again, here in Paris. I was hoping to see you but my dear I must tell you first, I'm afraid I no longer might look the way you remember me looking." I stop and watch as my nurse puts my letter in an envelope and walks away. A few days later my letter from Marie arrives and I listen as my nurse reads it out loud to me. "cher Gabriello, I was très heureux to hear from you and I am glad that you are okay. I too am afraid that I might not look as beautiful as you remembered nevertheless I will be visiting you in no time. I too have to spend my time in l'hôpital but I will tell you all about it when I visit."

     I made sure to get ready for Marie's visit, as ready as an injured man could get. I was afraid I wasn't going to recognize her or that she wouldn't recognize me but lead by love we found each other. She looked pale and fragile, her hair was gone but her beauty was still intact. "je vous ai manqué" we tell each other we miss each other at the same time, she smiles and my heart melts. "Gabriello there is something I need to tell you" she says as she sits in a chair by my bed, I nod in agreement. "I am dying" the room got quiet and for the rest of the time while I was holding back tears I tried to convince not only her but myself that this could not be true.

    Sadly Marie was right, in February 14 1943 two months after I had arrived in Paris, Marie succumbed to cancer. I was wheel chaired to her funeral and when it was time to say goodbye to my Marie once and for all, I could not dare to let go. My pain grew stronger and stronger, the light on the road took me out of the past and back to the present where I drove on. I made a right turn and as I drove on it seemed like the light was guiding me somewhere. No matter which way I went the light was always ahead, so I drove on.

     I kept on driving straight as I followed the light, I heard our song again "parlez moi d'amour". It started out faintly but as I kept on driving the music would get louder and louder and the light got closer and closer. The road from below me becomes light like air, and then I felt a dropping feeling but I, without a care in the world kept my foot on the accelerator. I hear an explosion and smell the nostalgic smell of burning metal, I feel a warmth come over me like the warmth I could only feel from my Marie's soft touch. 

     I see the light and all of the sudden I am in a place I had never seen before. I am on foot now and it was dark but I know I am not in the same place because the stars here swing lower and the moon seems close enough for me to touch. The trees are white and the wind is cold much like the cold winter breeze, I hear that song once again and I listen to try to pinpoint its location like I once had done with Marie's laughter. I followed the jazz tones till I came upon a garden full of white roses, I hear movement and I see a beautiful fair maiden. I couldn't believe my eyes, she stands there in a long white dress and her soft brown curls my Marie. She smiles at me and whispers softly "bienvenue chez mon cher Gabriello , welcome home."