"Help me, please", her faint voice echoed in his head.
For months now he had been trying to get rid of these nightmares. And his guilt made it even worse. He kept telling himself, "If it wasn't for me, she would have still been alive."
"Hey Jack, snap out of it man", called out Will.
" Ye... Yeah. I'm sorry bro. I can't get her out of my head", Jack replied.
"Dude get over it already. None of it was your fault and nobody even knows how she died. You need to relax. Here take a drag.", Will said, handing over a freshly lit joint of marijuana. Jack took a huge puff and let out a sigh along with the smoke. The stuff was rough and made him cough a bit.
"Her lap was the best place to rest my head when i was high. Why'd she have to do that?", Jack thought while resting his head on the sofa behind him. He tried to go back to his memory lane.
"If things would have just been different that.."
"What you doing this evening, dawg?", asked Will.
"I don't know. Sit in front of the TV, maybe. Watch some movies. Why?", replied Jack.
"I got this friend coming over to my place and he has got some high level stuff", Will said with sheer excitement.
"What stuff?", Jack inquired.
"Well there is this rumor, that this guy in Albuquerque, New Mexico makes the finest meth in the world. Even a small bit of it hits you like a bullet. My friend says he's got hold of some of that stuff, so you in?", Will replied.
"I'm not sure bro. I'll let you know" , Jack replied taking another drag from the marijuana joint.
"You gotcha miss it at your own risk. And guess what, this stuff is pure fucking blue. " , Will said with blissful excitement.
"Blue, her eyes, the last i saw them they were in so much pain. So much pain. Why?", Jack's memory vividly remembered each and every detail of her blue eyes, her nose, her red lips, her brown hair. Her face. And suddenly, he felt it. The immense loneliness he had inside. He was empty. He needed her more than he imagined. He needed to be with her.
Jack helps himself up and says, " I guess i should leave now."
"You sure dawg? You ain't even high yet." ,Will said.
"I will get high enough", Jack murmurs and dashes out the door.
He hurries down the street towards his home a few kilometers from there.
"So many memories. Every corner, every road. She is in all of them. She is with me, always.", Jack thought to himself letting out a faint smile of grief. "I need to be with her too."
He reaches the Milton Bridge, gets up on the railing and whispers, "Is this high enough? Am I closer to you now? I might be or might not."
"Jack!", someone shouted.
Jack looked back, for he knew whose voice this was. It was her mom. Rachel's mom.
"Why are you still like this? Get a hold of yourself. Is this how she would have wanted you to be?", Mrs. Adams shouted. Jack got off the railing and said in a faint voice, "I can't live like this. She was the world to me but you people tried to take her away from me."
"I know its our fault. We wanted her to stay away from you. We were even ready to move out of town. Maybe if we wouldn't have been so adamant, she would have still been with us.", Mrs. Adams broke down crying. Jack went over to her to console her.
"Why would you take her away? We were happy. We were supposed to be together.", Jack said in a heavy voice trying.
"She ran away from us because of you. Just a day before we would have moved to our new lives, she ran away to you.", Mrs. Adams said as she sobbed.
"But she didn't reach, did she? If you people had been a bit understanding I wouldn't have been like this." Jack said and started walking towards his home.
"Her father says that she will always be with us", Mrs. Adams exclaimed.
"You're so wrong", Jack thought.
"Maybe you should believe that too", Mrs. Adams shouted.
"I do", Jack said in a faint voice.
He reached his apartment and opened the locks. "She is with me. All the time. Just with me.", Jack kept thinking. He got inside and moved to his bedroom. A weird big freezer laid there in the corner of his bedroom. He goes up to it and opens it. The room is filled with a sudden chill of cold air coming out of the freezer. Jack had a faint smile on his face.
There she was. Cold and beautiful. Red like the last day he felt her. Jack couldn't stop smiling. "We're together. No one can separate us."
Jack could vividly see each and every detail of her blue eyes, her nose, her blood red lips, her frozen brown hair. Her face. And suddenly, he felt it. The immense loneliness she had inside. She was empty. She needed him more than she imagined. She needed to be with him. Always.
