Days with Sakamaki Subaru

You Belong to Me

The cold silver knife steadied in the palm of my hand once again. My gaze fixed at it watching it glimmer the distant moon light, showing me a reflection in it's lifeless metal. His red eyes stared at the silver knife.

    "Kill me... now... with that." he said in a cold harsh voice.

    The grip of my hand tightened around the handle of the silver knife. My body trembled at the thought of this weapon covered in his blood from my own hands. I took these repetitive words and accepted them into my heart. Along with my feeling of revenge, and slowly it grew with every passing moment.

    His crimson eyes shot right through me, and I was forced to clear my throat from the pressure escalating. Anxiety and doubt crept in and my hands began to profusely sweat. My body started to forget it's feeling of life.

    "You can't do it, can you?" he said.

    Subaru took one step closer to my lifeless body, reaching to me. All I was capable of doing was stare at the shinning silver knife in my hand. His words repeated over and over in my mind.

---

    As the wind breezed through my hair, we walked home from school together. The sounds of our shoes echoed as we continued down the musky road together. My pace began to slow down while his began to speed up. I completely stopped in my tracks, and he continued to walk.

    I knew nothing of Subaru. He never let me know who he was; always keeping a distance from me and never speaking more than ten words to me. He constantly avoids me and I don't understand, I never understand him.

    "Subaru, please wait a little!" I shouted.

     I ran up to catch him and yet he acted like I didn't exist.

    "Subaru, why don't you talk to me?" I asked.

    He was silent. When I glanced up to peek at his face, he quickly moved it away to stop me from seeing it.

    "Why don't you look at me, Subaru?" I asked.

    While I was asking intently trying to a response from him, he stopped. His shoes scraped the road beneath our feet from his violent halt. I turned back in curiosity.

    "Subaru?" I repeated.

    That was the first time I had seen him make such a face. If was only for a moment but, his eyebrows furrowed and teeth clenched. It was a face that I had never seen anyone make before, it was the kind of face you yourself hope you never make. It was filled of pain and sorrow, regret and remorse. A toxic pain in ones heart that is stained into their soul, unable to be changed or cleaned. A virus that took the warmth from hearts to leave nothing but an empty chilled shell behind. His face was twisted in guilt and it was all pushed down onto me.

    "You piss me off." He spat out. "Just your scent alone makes me want to puke."

    Subaru marched on forward leaving me in the past.

---

    "Subaru? Are you awake?" I knocked on his door.

    Once again, silence. I knocked again.

    "Subaru? We need to go to school now." I said.

    And yet, no answer. I grabbed the door handle and slowly twisted it open. I pushed it open to realize the room was empty.

    "Subaru?!" I said, in slight panic.

    I heard a muffled comment coming from the closed coffin in the middle of the room. I took a step forward closer to it. Is he in there? I reached out to open it's door slowly when something grasped my wrist and pulled me in. I was violently shoved and engulfed into it's sheltering darkness. The door quickly shut behind me and I was trapped inside.

    "Sleep." it said.

    My body jolted at the command directed to me. Terror grew and I struggled to escape but I was restrained. 

    "Can't you just listen? Go to sleep." it repeated.

    Beside my panic I recognized the voice speaking to me. It was different because Subaru's voice was softer and closer to me. My eyes saw nothing by my ears heard everything. His body wrapped around mine, the weight of his head rested on my neck. Subaru's breathing was calming, and I quickly paced my own breathing with his. The warmth of his body spread around me and left me restless.

    "Um, We need to go to-"

    Subaru forced his way up to my ear, and whispered to me. It sent chills down my spine, and shocked me with fear. He chuckled at me and moved his mouth back down to my neck, resting his lips on my neck.

    "Subaru, please let me go..." I pleaded.

    I escaped one of my arms from his trap and forced the coffin door open, but immediately he pulled me back down. I felt his breath beating behind my ear, quick and heated.

    There was no warning. His mouth charged open and clasped down into my neck, his fangs intruding their way into me. My throat cut off my voice and I let out a harsh gasp. It was sharp and violent, all I could do was lay helplessly as my body slowly turned motionless. It slowly crept up my body and left me shivering, the warmth from my body being drained from my toes to my fingers till there was nothing else left. I tried to fight back, but I couldn't feel my own hands anymore. Drips of my own blood fell from Subaru's mouth as he continued to hold onto me. I leaned into Subaru's arms.

    "Remember, you're only food. "

---

    Before I knew it he pulled me down. I was trapped under his eyes, only watching me. Time was being lost as I felt my body go numb underneath him. He brushed my hair away form my face and lightly touched my lips with his fingers. I reached up and grabbed the hand on my lips and interlocked with it. The warmth of his hand made my entire body heat up.

    "If you do this, you'll be giving up on your God." He said.

    I denied. He was wrong. I won't give up on my God. I'll continue to follow God, but that concept might not make sense to him. Either way, I care deeply for Subaru.

    He held the back of my head and leaned into a kiss. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth and softness touch my lips. It was gentle and caring, and it was Subaru. The warmth lifted from me and I grazed my eyes open to see Subaru's eyes directed onto me.

    "Look at me, only me." He told me.

    I could never escape from the start. My body was paralyzed because of his voice and movement. He pushed into another kiss forcing my mouth open with his. My mind shot numb and all the energy and strength in my body died. His tongue wrapped around mine making me helpless to anything he wanted...

(To be continued...?)