Amelia slams the door of her car and places a death grip on the steering wheel. Back and forth she grips and moves the steering wheel cover, unsure of where to go now. She feels a tear begin to form in the bottom of her eye and she looks up into the distance, her sadness turning into anger. She takes a deep breath and violently starts the car, forgetting about a seatbelt, or any manners of safety, she takes off into the night.
Driving down the highway, she has no idea where she's going, but she knows she can't go back to the trailer, and she knows she sure as heel shouldn't be alone. She can't go to Meredith, she's pretty sure she still hates her. Maggie is with Meredith, April has her own shit going on. She makes a split decision and turns onto a street leading her into a nicer part of town. She suddenly becomes aware of her speed and slows down, guess that's one thing she got from her big brother.
She finally reaches her destination and pulls the car into park before fully applying the brake. She slams the door behind her and runs up the steps, fueled by pure rage. She presses the button that says "6" inside the tiny elevator and waits impatiently for it to take her up. Elevators were no fun when you were alone. She fidgets with one of the many zippers on her cargo jacket until she hears the satisfying "bing" of the elevator letting her know she had reached her desired floor. She steps out quickly and begins pacing down the hallway, "quick right and second door to your left" Amelia remembered Arizona telling her what seemed like forever ago "I'm always here if you need me".
She slows her pace as she rounds the corner, and her hand hovers over the center of the door, suddenly contemplating whether she should really be here or not. She eyes the watch on her wrist and realizes it's now past midnight. She puts her hand down at her side, over thinking the whole thing. Wondering if Arizona really meant it, or if she was just saying it like most people do. Kind of like how when people ask how you're doing, they don't really care, they just say it because it's polite.
But she knew that if she left, she wouldn't be going home. She would be going to the bar down the street.
"Screw it" she whispers to herself and knocks on the door.
She taps her foot impatiently and looks up at the ceiling, nervous for some reason.
"Damnit Robbins" she whispers to herself, looking up and down the hall. She turns on her heel to leave when she hears the familiar rattle of a chain lock from behind the apartment door.
The door swings open and Arizona stands sleepily in the doorway. She squints her eyes at the bright lights of the hallway, the apartment dark behind her.
"Amelia?" she says questioningly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She takes on side of her robe and crosses it over her body, tucking her arms under each other.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she says sleepily.
"Just-"Amelia begins, looking up at the ceiling again, trying not to cry, feeling her throat swell up, "everything"
"Oh sweetie, come in" Arizona says, extending her arm out and placing it over Amelia's shoulder and leading her into the apartment.
Amelia follows her in and scans the dark living room, flipping the light switch next to her arm.
Arizona quickly crosses the room, trying to get to the kitchen before Amelia does. She had been drinking a couple of hours ago and had passed out on the couch, she didn't want Amelia to see the bottles.
But, to her surprise she had already thrown out the bottles, she smiles, proud of her drunk self. She starts rummaging through the cabinets, looking for some medicine because she had a pounding headache, and she groans, knowing she's going to have a long day tomorrow.
"Where's Deluca?" Amelia asks, noticing his vacant room through the propped open door.
"Hmmm" Arizona says, looking over her shoulder to the room, "must be with Maggie" she says, popping two Tylenol into her mouth.
"Oooh" Amelia says, slightly smiling. She sits down on the couch and lays back, her neck resting on the top of the cushion, she stares at the ceiling. Arizona walks back into the room and hands Amelia a glass of water, and then takes her place on the couch across from her.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, neither one of them moving nor talking, just the quiet hum of the heater and the shallow breaths they each made.
Amelia thought that she liked this. This peace and quiet, this brief moment of silence, where nothing really mattered and she didn't have to worry about what was right around the corner. She closes her eyes and smiles slightly, taking a deep breath.
"You wanna talk about it" Arizona says quietly, staring at Amelia's closed eyelids.
"No" Amelia says, keeping her eyes closed, and the slight smile on her face dissipates, her brow begins to furrow.
"Okay" Arizona says, and scoots a little closer to her, mimicking her position on the couch, throwing her face to the heavens and closing her eyes.
A couple minutes pass by, she knew because she was counting the tick tock of the clock on the wall, and Arizona opens one eye to look at Amelia. She was still sitting peacefully. Not moving, not saying a word. She closes her eye again, she'll talk when she's ready.
"Did you ever date a man?" Amelia suddenly asks, her eyes still closed, her brow furrowed in curiosity.
"Um" Amelia's question had taken her by surprise. Not what she was expecting Amelia to say, but if asking seemingly pointless questions was the way to get Amelia to talk, she would entertain her, "No. I mean, unless you counted my childhood friend who I 'married' but that was just us being kids"
"Why did you choose to date chicks?" Amelia then asks, genuinely curious, her eyes still shut tight.
"Amelia, honey" Arizona says, sitting up and turning her body towards Amelia's, sitting on one of her legs, "I didn't choose to date anyone, that's just how it works. I was just, born this way I guess". She looks at Amelia with concern, feeling as if Amelia is avoiding talking by deflecting her thoughts onto Arizona.
Amelia says nothing.
"Amelia, what's this about?" Arizona says, placing her hand on the top of Amelia's.
"Oooh, nothing" Amelia says, chuckling slightly at the end of the word, "I was just thinking that maybe men aren't for me" she laughs slightly at the thought.
"Sweetie, it doesn't exactly work like that. You can't just choose to go one way or the other. Unless you genuinely think that you are attracted to women," She goes on, "I don't know what Owen did, but I bet he didn't mean to hurt you. But please, don't make any irrational decisions. You can stay here tonight if you want, just please, don't do anything you'll regret"
Amelia suddenly opens her eyes and looks at Arizona. Sitting up, she tilts her head and looks questioningly at the blonde, like a dog might cock its head at the slightest of sounds, curious.
She leans in quickly and places a quick kiss on Arizona's soft pink lips, then pulls away, resting her forehead against Arizona's. She breathes out a small, hitched breath.
"I think I just did" Amelia whispers.
~TO BE CONTINUED~
