I Thought You Were Different

Wakanda

The team returned to the jet a little beaten down and definitely bruised. Their injuries weren't apparent on the outside; they physically looked the same as when they had disembarked in Wakanda, but their eyes were what gave them away. Steve wouldn't look at you as he crossed the jet to take his seat, awkwardly and uncomfortably silent for the outspoken leader of the team.

"(Y/N), take us out," Tony said quietly with a gentle touch to your arm and a glance toward Steve. "He just needs a few minutes."

"Actually, let me do it," Clint offered, pushing past Tony to take the pilot seat with a nod towards the Captain as he passed by, pausing long enough to whisper in your ear. "They took a pretty big hit. I think you can guess what she showed him."

You took a deep breath, hoping it would wash away the sick feeling you were getting in your stomach. You had no idea how to even start a conversation about this, or if he would respond to it at all. The discussion about Peggy had happened early in your relationship, and you had known a little about their history before you and Steve had actually started dating, but you had been together over a year now and it had only come up a very few times. With an air of caution, you slowly lowered yourself into the chair across from him, watching but not speaking until he was ready.

"I'm fine."

"Even though I know you're lying," you sighed quietly, relieved that he was willing to engage, "I still almost believe you. Is there anything I can do?"

"You can let it go."

"Steve..."

He leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his thighs and clasping his hands together but wringing them anxiously, his skin turning white from the pressure he was putting on them. His gaze was still lowered and he had yet to look at you as he spoke. "(Y/N), I don't want to talk about this. Not now, and definitely not with...you."

"Fine," you huffed, annoyed by his tone and insinuation that you weren't his choice for comfort. Even though your mind understood, your heart didn't and took his attitude towards you at face value. "Don't talk to me then, that's fine. Just sit there and wallow in the past again, Steve. Feel sorry for yourself, because I sure don't." As the words came out, you immediately regretted them; they were harsh and unnecessary, and you didn't mean any of it.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He was definitely making eye contact with you now, and they were filled with hurt. "I don't feel sorry for myself."

"I can't compete with a ghost anymore. One mention of Peggy and you're gone, Steve. You go to some dark place that I can't get to and honestly, I don't think that I want to."

Steve stood, towering over you until you stood in kind, pressing yourself back against your chair to maintain a little distance. His stature was imposing and his posture rigid; he looked fully angry now, and you were the sole recipient of it. "No one is forcing you to stay, (Y/N). No one is asking you to compete."

"Guys, I think you should step back-" Tony pleaded, but was quickly interrupted.

"I think you should mind your own business, Stark," Steve snapped. "(Y/N), you're overreacting. Yes, Peggy is a part of my past, and yes, she will always be a sensitive topic for me, but I thought you understood that. I thought you were different."

"Different how? That I'll roll over every time she comes up? That I won't let it bother me how you shut me out when I'm supposed to be the one person you can tell anything to? Well sorry, honey, you were wrong." Your chest was heaving now with the threat of crying, but you held back, allowing your anger to take control. "You need to move on from her, Steve. You're holding on to something that will never come back, and it's ruining something good that's standing right in front of you. So I'll tell you what, if and when you think that you're ready to get on with your life, you let me know." You paused again, taking a deep breath to calm yourself and demonstrate your resolve, even though you weren't even sure of it yourself.

"If I'm even still here."

Turning sharply on your heel, you moved to the other end of the jet, getting as much distance as you could between yourself and Steve, knowing the eyes of the team were on you as you tried to hide yourself away. Feeling the anger practically emanating from you, they all knew one thing for certain; the witch had better watch her back the next time she crosses paths with you.