Life as Spiderwoman

Confessions

After Pete had refused to accept Fury's offer, as Coulson would say, "to be part of the program", he really was pretty agitated.

Not just that he was completely unsure if he had made the right decision, also Fury had managed to bring back Peter's memories of his Uncle Ben, and with them his feelings being responsible for his death.

I wasn't sure how to feel and to react aswell. On the one hand, Peter and I hadn't really talked about the "program" yet, I was sure I could bring up some positive things about Fury's offer.

But on the other hand, I'd just like to slap that stupid super spy, for causing all those feelings that made Peter feel so bad.

All those thoughts were on my mind, while we were on our way back home, silently. I wasn't sure if Peter was thinking about the program, or Fury, or his uncle, or even about all of it, until I stopped him from running, to talk about it.

"Hey Pete, can we stop for a minute?", I asked sadly.

"Sure.", he said, with the same sad tone in his voice, trying to force a normal smile for me, which ended up in a tiny, tiny, crooked, half smile.

When he realized that I was struggling with my words, he started talking.

“I know I reacted pretty fast, and I’m really sorry I didn’t even take the time to ask you for your opinion, but I guess that was just how I felt about it. I still do.”

“No, Pete. There’s nothing you’ve done wrong. They really took us by surprise…”, I answered, guiltily remembering how I – at least – had seen the newbies once, and hadn’t said a word to Peter. I felt really bad and decided to finally tell him.

“But... Do you remember the 25-robots-exercise Fury made us go through, on the first day? Well, to be honest, there is something I need to tell you about it.”, I began carefully.

“Yeah, I remember. What’s it about?”, he asked friendly, with another tiny smile on his face.

“Well, while you were fighting the last ones, I was on the ceiling, do you remember that too?”

“Yes, I saw you there, but only for a second. Just go on, I remember most of that day.”, he chuckled.

Yeah right. The Parachute test.

“Okay, err... While I was up there, I saw a camera, hidden. Well, of course Fury would watch us doing the exercise, but there also was a... a screen.”, I went on, slowly, watching Peter face precisely as it changed.

“I turned the screen on and saw Fury watching us. And the newbies, too.” He looked at me disbelievingly, but his mouth was opened wide. I always hated to upset him.

“They were talking about how badly we were fighting, how the newbies had done the exercise alone, in 18 seconds or something. And bucket head turned out as a wanna be team leader. Then I had to turn it off. See, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to tell you, after the parachute test.”

I looked down to the floor. Once it was said, I only felt worse.

“Oh no, don’t be sad. Who would judge you or be mad at you for that. And you know that I actually can never be mad at you.” He smiled. “I totally understand that you forgot it.”, he said, stepping forward and hugging me gently.

I felt the goose bumps again, wondering why they always appeared in such situations.

“Since we already talk about serious things – how do we react to MJ’s wish to meet the Spiderteam?”, I asked, not wanting him to let go of me. Unluckily he did.

I saw his face change again, he remembered our next problem.

“I still know that we didn’t really agree on a solution before.”, he said.

“Yes, either way we’ll meet her and risk that she recognizes you,  or we’ll tell her again and again that they probably won’t show up.”, I repeated our options.

He seemed to think about it. “Okay, this can’t get any worse can it? We’ll do it. Even if she spots us, she’ll think it’s a joke, right?”

“Yeah, that’s probably true.” I sighed. “At least one problem solved.”

“Well, back when I was alone I had a much harder time making all these decisions alone and having to deal with everything, if it went wrong. You’re much more than just a great sidekick.”, he smiled his old, normal, typical teasing smile.

I smiled, my old, normal joker Peter was back.

“Okay, we’ll think about everything and then tell the other one our opinion, we can’t just forget our problems.”, I thought loudly, looking deep into his beautiful brown eyes.

He took another step towards me and swept a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re right, just as always.” He smiled and kissed me onto my cheek.

“Let’s go home, we can still talk in my room, or yours, but it’s getting late... and dark.”, he whispered creepily into my ear, laughed, and went on swinging and running.

As we arrived I quickly went home to tell my parents, after May and Peter had invited me to eat dinner with them.

After Peter had to struggle extremely with cutting the tomatoes, simply using the wrong knife, May and I decided we would be able to do it alone.

So Peter ended up in his room, who knows what he did there, while May and I prepared dinner.

We called him when dinner was ready and as he came down the stairs, he held a book in front of his face.

Something about science or maths, I was simply too disinterested to read the whole title.

Even when we sat down and started eating he didn’t put the book away.

“Peter, my dear. What did we say about reading at the table?”, May asked him, smiling.

“Did we say we like it?”, Peter asked, still not laying the book to the side and I laughed loudly.

He smiled, closed the book and finally laid it onto the table.

After dinner May decided we wouldn’t need to help her washing the dishes and no arguing or begging helped there. So Peter and I went upstairs and talked a bit, only about some unrelated things.

It was Friday and Peter wanted to do something tomorrow, I didn’t really get what he said, my thoughts were all about S.H.I.E.L.D..

When I was lying in my bed, ready to sleep, I heard voices through my window. Probably just because all of my senses work better, since I’ve become Spiderwoman, I thought.

But I soon recognized it was May and Peter and went to my window to close it.

But when I heard what they were talking about, it was too alluring to not eavesdrop.

“Peter? What is it with you and Joi? Is she your girlfriend now?”, May asked carefully.

“May!”

“Hey, I’m just asking..”, she said innocently. “So.. Do you like her?”

“Yes.. I do.”, Peter admitted.

“Do you.. like her reeeally much?”

There was a long break.

“Yes.”

I felt my heart make a jump and I felt that I blushed.

“And she is your girlfriend?”

“Not yet.”, he said and I breathed in sharply.

“May, no more questions about this, okay? I’m so tired. Good night.”

I closed the window as fast as I could and jumped onto my bed. The lights were turned off before he was in his room. But he went to bed immediately.

This night I had dreams that were so awkward, that I was sure I wouldn’t tell anyone about them too soon.