Runaway (Markiplier X Lindsey Stirling)

Can't Keep My Pillow Dry

Btw, the title is a song lyric. I'm not that poetic. It's from "River of Tears" by Alessia Cara. She's amazing and it's such a cool song (and it really sets the mood for this chapter. Hint hint, wink wink).

(Lindsey p.o.v.)
It had been a few days and my guys called and told me that it would actually take 2 weeks to fix the bus. I talked to Mark about it and he said it was fine for me to stay the two weeks. Over the past few days, he had been acting differently. He would never make eye contact with me. He often left meals early. It didn't make any sense. Only a few days ago, we had been so open. And now it's as if he's closed himself off again. What was going on?

(Mark p.o.v.)
I had left dinner early again and gone to my room. I couldn't do it. I had tried, but just knowing that if I opened my heart back up to her, and she did the same, then it would only end in her getting hurt. I cared about her so much. I loved her even. And I couldn't watch her get hurt anymore than she already had been. There were times where I wish I could just disappear from it all. Just get lost in the nothingness that is peace and void. But I was here, where I was weak and vulnerable, because no matter how hard I tried, I kept letting her in. And I worried that she would get past the point of no return, held in the trap that is my heart. She always found a way to break down my walls, which I then had to rebuild and make stronger each time. One day, I would succeed.

Later that night, I lied in my bed, thinking about nothing in particular, when she opened my door slowly and walked in, shutting it behind her. She approached me as I looked up at her with confusion. She sat on the edge of my bed, beside me.
Lindsey: You know, I can't quite figure you out. One day, you're the open and sweet man I know, the next you're a shy stranger whose afraid to meet my eyes.
Mark: Well then maybe you should stop trying to figure me out.
She looked down at her hands before responding.
Lindsey: No.
Mark: What?
Then she looked up and leaned towards me so her face was a couple inches from mine as she looked me dead in the eyes.
Lindsey: No.
She got ever so slightly closer by the second.
Be strong Mark. Do it for HER.
Mark: Lindsey...just walk away.
Lindsey: I'm done walking away.
Mark: Lindsey, please...
If you let her in, she'll get hurt. You can't let her in. You can't. You can't!
Lindsey: Mark, you're building your walls up so high, that one day nobody will be able to get through.
Mark: Maybe that's for the best.
Lindsey: No, it's not.
Her lips gently grazed mine as I tensed up, breathing rapidly.
You can't be weak! You can't be vulnerable!
Lindsey: Let me.
Then she met my lips with hers as she kissed me. And without knowing what I was doing, I kissed her back.
No! You can't! You can't let her!
I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. For some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to push her away again. So I kissed her back and she deepened the kiss, putting her hand on the back of my head, her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling slightly, as she leaned me back. I was lying down as she sat on my chest, leaning down to kiss me. Then she pulled away slightly. I looked up at her with pleading eyes. If she keeps going, I'll never stop. I'll never get enough of her. Why...
She brought her hands down my chest, tracing down every muscle, driving me crazy.

You can't do this.
But she wants it.
But she'll regret it. You'll regret it.
Why does it have to be this way?
Do you remember the last time you let her in?
You can't hurt her anymore if she doesn't fall into your trap. You need to stop this. Now!

I can't.

I put my hands on her hips as she moved back slightly off my chest, and onto my crotch. I wasn't in control, she had this power over me. And how could I stop it? How could I stop myself? I felt powerless and vulnerable, but I enjoyed it, even though I knew I'd regret it later. I enjoyed feeling her hands on me as they crept under my shirt and up my stomach and chest, and feeling the pressure from her sitting back on me, moving slightly. I loved all of it. I loved her. But I couldn't let myself do that. But every time I fought against myself, I lost, and gave in, facing the repercussions later. She slowly pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it to the side before leaning down again and kissing my lips softly. Then her kisses moved down my jawline and neck, going to my chest and stomach as she crept down my body until she reached my jeans. I lied there as she unbuttoned them and slid them down my legs. Then she crawled back on top of me, meeting my lips with her's once again as I pulled her close by the waist. Then I started to move her shirt up her body, pulling it over her head. And then slowly, she pulled her sweatpants downwards and we were both left together with our clothes between us.

I lied in bed alone in my underwear under the covers. Lindsey had gone into her room while she thought I was asleep. Most likely because she didn't want to get caught by my family in my room. Not that I blame her. But now the regret was kicking in and boy did it come in loads.
Why did I do it?
I shouldn't have.
What will she think of me?
How will she react when I tell her?
Please...don't hurt her...don't hurt her...

Please don't hurt her.

Please.

A/N: So...yeah. I'm not sure what to say. This is kind of filler, kind of not. You'll see what I mean in a chapter or two. Also, I just recently heard that Mark had mentioned he liked Alessia Cara, specifically "Here," on a livestream (even though he pronounced it as Alicia Caera). Now as someone who has watched her covers for a couple years now and loves the fact that she's finding success, I flipped the fuck out. So yeah, thought I'd mention it because it's partly interesting and partly funny. Also, the song I put above, I've literally been listening to it on repeat. It's so pretty! And then I was listening to it while writing this and you can kind tell by the tone. Also, unless I say otherwise, when I put music in a chapter, it's what I was listening to while writing, so it'll give you a good idea on the sort of tone/mood. Okay, I'll shut up now. :p
Until next time...