Do I Fit In Now

It was a nice day with the sun shining high in the sky with birds chipping and little kids having fun playing hide and seek, but in my mind it was dark and cold a place where no one would fit in you would have to look as perfect as barbie the doll to fit into this world. My name is Caroline but other people call me a dumb ass, a bitch, not normal, stupid monkey,  and much more i would let you know the other names but it brings me down to much, to the point were I'm crying in pain and taking out a knife and slicing my wrist open even through i don't know what some of those words mean. Well anyway i was Turing 10yrs old and going into 5th grade next year, but I'm not to exited because i got bullied in 4th grade.

It is now the next year and I'm growing up well not really but i im. Now im 10yrs old and making my way to 5th grade. I'm a little scarred because i have no friends and i get bullied not just verbal bullying but all of the forms of bullying which include Physical were the mean kids hit you, Indirect were the kids spread fake stuff about you around school, cyberbullied which is when they go online and call you mean nasty names. That night i had to go to bed early my mom said because the next day was school. My mom was a caring one that loved me very much she  didnt know i got bullied or what i did to myself that i have cuts every were from my slicing knife thats what i call my cutting weapon to slice open my skin. I would hid the cuts with a ban-aid and say i fell off my bike. I closed my eyes vey slowly like i was dieing. The next moring i awoke with my phone going off with a mean text saying you ready for school dumbbutt want a new brusise on your leg for the first day, but i just left it alone and deleted it. That morning i got  dressed  the first day i wore a dress with butterflies that said dont stop beliving. i went on the bus and  sat in the way back lieing down hoping no one would see me. when the bus stoped at school i ran off and went to my class.  When i got in my class all eyes went on me like i was some sort of alien monster thing. There was one seat left it was in the way back but i was okay with that. i walked over to my seat and sat down but i looked to my left side and there was onemore chair next to me. In my mind i was hoping no one mean would sit there. The next thing you know this little boy came in the door he looked like he wasnt taken care of he had bruses and marks all over him. The boy sat down in that seat next to me. He said hello my name is tom whats yours i said mine o its caroline but other people call me mean names Tom repliad with really me too.

That afternoon Tom and I became best friends. It was now lunch time and there were no tables left so we went to the classroom to eat our food. We began talking about our lives and how their different by every one else. Except Toms life sounded most worst then mine his mom left him at 2 his dad wanted nothing to do with him he got put in adoption and got taken by this loving old lady. When the day was over i went back on the bus and went to the way back aging. When the bus stooped at my house i ran in so no one on the bus could throw something at me. i ran to my mom in excitement screaming MOM GUESS WHAT she said what honey i replied back as saying i have a best friend now my mom was so proud of me.

The next morning was Friday i got ready for school and waited for the bus to come. While i was waiting my phone went off i got a text message saying when you get to school meet me in the gym from Tom. when I arrived at school i ran to the gym i was wondering what he could want. when i got there i didn't see him. i turned around and there was a note on the door that said behind the gym mats from tom, and there he was. He took me by the hand and asked Caroline will you go to the 5th grade dance with me i said yes so fast i was so exited to finally have a real friend and now his my date. my eyes can finally see the sun shining but my mind still says its a dark world.

The next day was the night of the dance my mom wanted to make it a good night. She took me out to get my hair done, nails done, and a buetiful dress that was pink with lice lining on the bottom and gems on the top. when it was time for the dance my mom droped me off at school. i got a txt from tom saying i want you to meet some of my friends meet me in the gym. So i went down to the gym and i saw Tom he looked like he was mad or something. i asked him whats wrong he replaid back with i thought you loved me i said but i do he said no you didnt everyones telling me you like someone else this whole time and that your a two timed bitch im sorry caroline but were done. Tom ran out the door crying. while i went out the door to go after him two of the meanest kids grabed me and took me out side. They staerd beating me to death i had blood running down my nose like a waterful. i could hardly breath i felt like my life was ending my eyes stared to slowy close and i stared to draft away before i could say antor would i was breathless. The Next morning i awoke in a place were all it smelt like was medicnie and sick old people. A lady came in that looked like a nurse. The nurse said your in the hostipal do you rember how your face got all bloody.  i relipaded back with all i can rember is i was taken outside and beaten by two kids. The doctor said your mom should be here shortly but you will have to stay here for a couple of days . when the doctor left i took a piece of paper from the desk next to my hostipal bed and a pen i staterd writing Dear mom im sorry to leave but i have to go my life is meant to end i love you mom i shold of told you was getting bullied my whole life and that i use to cut mom you will be ok take care of yourself. i put the pice of paper on the desk with the pencils i saw some pills and needles on the desk. i shoved all of the neddles into my legs and arms i was staring to get vey tried and light headed but i took all of the pills too. The last thing i heard was this loud thing going beapppppp and my mom screaming and crying my life just ended and was now with god.