Kidnapped by Kylo Ren (Star Wars)

Chapter Eighty-One

(Author's Note: This chapter is in Nira's point of view)

(P.S. What a nice, funny, hot gif I put there for all of you ;)

It was so exhilarating and comforting to finally be kissing Kylo Ren again. I was ecstatic because I finally felt free to put my hands on him, to touch his face, to press my lips onto his, and to call him mine. It felt so great. After all of the doubt, denial, and despair, I finally realized that all along all I wanted was Kylo Ren. 

He was gorgeous -- stunningly gorgeous. I hadn't seen underneath his mask in so long that his pure beauty shocked me, and left my wordless. 

His hair was soft and as dark as the infinite amount of the universe that I saw whenever I looked out a window. His lips were thick and as pink as one of the most beautiful roses on Tunstead that I briefly remember. His eyes were a warm, dark, brown that was more delectable than the finest chocolate. 

I missed him. I missed the way his silken and callous hands felt on me. I missed the perfect combination of rich and sharp his voice had when it was unmasked. I missed sleeping with him at night, and I missed our intense conversations concerning my future. I missed everything about him, and I finally had him back. 

I reluctantly pulled away from the kiss because I had more questions for him. He looked confused when I first pulled away. I lifted my left hand to gently stroke his cheek reassuringly, and his countenance fell calm and serene once again. 

"What made you do it? Confront me? Talk to me?" I whispered -- only peaceful, wonderful silence surrounded us, so there was no reason to talk at a loud volume. 

He focused his vision downwards onto my hand, which rest on his carved jawline.

"I've been thinking about life for a while, honestly, Nira, and thinking about how I told you that our relationship was a big risk. I'm still correct in assuming that -- we are jeopardizing our safety by being together. But then," He looked up at me and intensely gazed into my eyes, "I realized that I would rather be killed and be able to know that I am yours in my last dying moments than live safely and not have you."

I stared at him, appalled by what he had just admitted. Kylo Ren is a risk taker, yes, but I didn't think he would take risks that put himself into danger. I am a risk that would surely put him into danger. 

Yet, he chose me, I thought, completely baffled, He chose me over his own safety. 

I then got myself worrying about other things. What if he is using me for something? Power? Sex? Revenge? What if he is lying to me, and he doesn't love me? What if he doesn't want to be with me but he is forcing himself to accept me for a short while so something else can be accomplished, and then he'll leave me in the dust?!

I could feel an internal panic rising in me. I didn't want Kylo Ren to be lying to me; I couldn't stand the thought of this not being real. 

But then I remembered how Kylo Ren had assured me over and over again that he doesn't only want me for my body. I remembered how much he has done for me, and I remembered how many times he has said that he loves me. 

I seriously doubt that Kylo Ren would use the term 'love' if he didn't truly mean it, I thought to myself, And I can't think of any scenario where he would be using me for some reason other than just for my body. I seriously don't believe that he's using me only for my body. I think this is real. 

I want this to be real. I need it to be real. 

I love him. 

I widened my eyes as I came to a life-changing realization.