Neverland // Tronnor

s t o r m

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Sweet little baby in a world full of pain
I gotta be honest, I don't know if I could take it
Everybody's talking, but what's anybody saying?
Mama said if I really want to, then I can change

///

Noise. Not enough of it yet there's too much racket. Announce as loud as the the crashing waves. As loud as my heart beat. Tap, tap, tap. Finger against soild. Solid. What this world needs; something soild to slam back down too when it's broken every crevice of its existence.
Hell is a good example of how the past week has been. No, a great example. No one cares, no one probably ever has. Expect for the handful of few which just so happens to be about a sliver of my family and barely a speck of others.
Tap, tap, tap.
Each tap sending me farther into the depths of my mind. They all shut me out, plugged in their daily lives as if I had no meaning to them. Screw them, I'd think. You only deserve who cares. Only Sage? Yeah, Troye totally. Keep tellin' yourself that helpless shit.
No one had a good reaction when I sat some of them down to anounce who I was. Sweaty hands against blue jeans. They sat down in the living room and looked at me with concerned faces, wondering what was wrong with their brother. Bullshit. They never lifted a finger to care.
A hundred unsteady breaths later, I told them everything. From the point to when I asked myself the question to now when I told them. Their faces stayed the same, like the worried expressions they wore before The Truth were a signal. 'Oh, Troye. We all knew it. You were screwed from the start.'
Many tears shed from only me and a heavy silence hovering over my family. My sister, Sage, engolfed me in her embrace. Then Tyde, Steele, and my parents. They all forced themselves to embrace their burden, to protect him from the outside. Because the outside didn't care who or what you were. It treated some all the same, and others worse.
Like me.
Word got around quickly about my coming out. The girls stared in disgust as they quickened their paces. The boys did the same, keeping their distance and spitting jokes at me. Then others heard. More violent people. And they didn't take difference in their 'perfect little world' too well.
Sometimes I'd come home with bloody noses that I hid all day or black eyes. It got worse quick. And they did nothing. They all stared and told me it'd be alright. Lies.
Skipping school and faking sick became my specialty. Mum saw through it all, but was kind enought to let me stay home when the damage the day before was too much. And it always was.
It's been weeks. Feels like an infinite colection of years that swung by at the same pace. Each punch a wrinkle in time, each laugh another lightyear. Some of my family were there for me , some were not. "Tro, it'll stop. They'll stop. I know they will, Troye. But if it ever becomes too much, tell someone important. Please." Sure, Sage. I will.
Tap, tap. My window's open and I can smell the ocean from here. I can sense a storm. A storm only I can feel or ever know. Here we go again. My lungs gasp for air as all of it is forced out of me. Heart beating too fast for anything.
Beating myself up from the inside like it was the usual, and it was. This time was different, the storm was too strong. Lightning striking my innocent heart, the pouring rain filling my lungs. Couldn't breathe, couldn't feel. Numb. Then the cold shivers that shake your body like an earthquake formed. The wind knocks me off my feet as I beg for it all to stop.
Stop. Please just stop. It made it worse. The water from my lungs leaked out of me and filled my blue room. I couldn't see, maybe it was the thick clouds or the side affect of these things. Water drowning me yet my clothes were dry as a desert. The water was making its way to the ceiling, my end. Then the hurricane, the worst or the best. Eveything blurred and your head just now making senseof all the damage.
I took a breath as I about hit my head to the celing, water closing in. It drenched my room as it all stayed grounded. Even the things without heads were more sane than me. I sunk to the bottom, blue eyes turned to grey as I stared at the ceiling that resembled the shining waters of an ocean.
I hit the floor with half of my concious. Taking a look at the eye of the storm underwater was even calmer. My thin, pale body reflected the water onto it like a puzzle.
The whole world shook and sloshed as I fought back the growing urge to scream. I clenshed my fists and my body tensed up as I was as stiff as a board. Then it was all swallowed up in an instant. Fists unclenched and body limp. Not only were my eyelids glued shut, but someone had painted my eyes themselves balck aswell. Everything the void. Endless black.
Oh, Troye. You'd be better off dead, it feels.

wow. that was something. unedited and slopply put together. (take away even more points for this whole chapter making no sense at all. if any of you are REALLY confused, ya boy Troye had a panic attack.) what a wonderful way to start the book!!1!
hey its Brooke, your writer. This is my first book on wattpad, althought I write 24/7. (seriously, just ask @BlazingFire7) i'm a sucker for anything sad and music. who are you all? i wanna get to know my few readers.
terribly sorry for the horrbile first chapter. i PROMISE the rest will be better. take care💕💕
to a clearer concious and better control,
ya girl brooke💫☁