PoEmS

Depression

I'm drowning but I see everyone else breathing
I watch them seething
Why can't I be perfect
Maybe I'm just a defect
I'm to fat
I look like a rat
Maybe I will stop eating food
And wear make up I won't look like a dude
Razor only you take the pain
While I sit here in vain
I use you across my arms legs and thighs
I wonder how high
I could go with you
I could use pills to
Or the gun or rope
I won't have to sit here and mope
I will cut just right
And be free by midnight
Or a bullet to the head
And I will be dead
What if I used the rope
It tight around my throat
I take one step of the edge
And I'm dead
All very good plans to go
Now which one will put on a show
After all this I will be free
And I will leave
No more cutting and no more feeling like I'm drowning
I love how good this is sounding
I'm sitting here with the my knife
You know society is right
One cut two cut three cut four
I watch as the blood drips to the floor
Five cut six cut seven cut eight
This feels great
How many more
Till there is a dead body on the floor
I'm dizzy and starting to see black
After this there is no going back
But what if I don't wanna go just yet
Well it's already set
Goodbye forever
I hope I don't have to feel this way ever