I'm at home. Laying on my bed.
I'm not crying anymore. I'm not sad anymore. I'm getting depressed. I just realized that person that I love the most is with someone else and doesn't think about me at all.
I know that this is wrong, but I love Jorge. I love him.
This age difference between us and the fact that he has no feelings for me, don't help at all. It's just impossible...
Let me tell you a little back story about me and Jorge.
When Violetta 3 ended and Violetta live began, I decided to confess my feelings towards him. I just felt like doing it, like it was the right timing. I went into his hotel room and talked to him. He didn't say a word. He just looked at me shocked. We just sat there on his bed uncomfortably and tried to avoid eye contact. I waited for him to say something.
I felt ashamed and went out of his room. That evening we had a show. I was really nervous when I had to do anything with Jorge especially the kiss. When I finished 'Soy mi mejor momento' I was really nervous. Nervous is an understatement of what I felt at that moment.
He came to me and said that he loves me. Of course he said that as Leon to Violetta.
He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. I didn't know what to do at that moment. But, I kissed him too. I felt soo good, soo natural, soo right, soo real.
After that we got closer and closer. I tried to forget him and see him as an actual friend, and actually I thought that I did. I hid my feelings for him so much that I convinced myself too, that I don't love him anymore. I got back with Peter again, and then it all started...
Jorge was soo nervous towards everyone and he didn't spoke with me at all. I tried to talk to him once or twice but he never looked me in the eyes or even tried to be interested in conversation. It got me really mad. I gave up.
But one day, in Barcelona, I walked on the beach alone. No one was there, just me and the sea, that's what I thought.
Then I spotted Jorge, deep in his thoughts, sitting on the bench.
I said to myself: Martina, go and talk to him. Even tho he's mad at you. Go.
I went towards him and sat on the bench.
~flashback~
"Hey.. What are you doing here all by yourself?" I spoke softly, trying not to annoy him.
"I could ask you the same question." He said not looking at me
"OK, Jorge. What on earth is wrong with you?! You're grumpy, nervous, you don't even look me in the eyes when you talk to me. Seriously, what is wrong with you?! You're sitting all alone on this bench in middle of empty Beach. What's your problem? " I said really, but really mad. I almost shouted.
"You. You are my problem, Martina. No one but you." He said now looking at me.
I'm his problem? I'm the reason of his grumpiness...
"Me? What have I done to you?"
"You said you love me"
"Jorge I said that but you never said that back to me. I had to move on. Did you expect me to run after you and wait for you to say 'I love you' back forever?"
"No, but Martina-"
"No buts Jorge. You are happily in love with Stephie and I'm with Peter together.
I'm trying to forget you. Please don't make this any harder."
"How do you know that I'm happily in love with Stephie?"
"I hope that you are..."
I did not knew what to do in this moment but i let my emotions go and I hugged him tight. I still love this man. I still love him... Then I kissed him on the cheek for one last time, and left him. My vision started to get blurry because of the tears...
Why? Why can't I forget you Blanco?
~end of flashback~
After that conversation I had with Jorge, things got wierd between us. I tried not to spent that much time with him and not talk to him either. Only contact we had was on stage when we sang together or when we kissed. Those kisses had bigger and bigger meaning for me every single day, and it scared me. I felt bad because of that. I felt like I was betraying Peter, but I wasn't. It was my job...
2 months later we started to hang out a little bit more but only in groups. Never alone. I broke up with Peter because i felt like there was no love like it used to be. Me and Jorge became 'friends' again and stayed in this relationship till this very day.
~~
I fell asleep while thinking about Jorge, about everything...
My stomach was making noises, I was starving.
I went out of my bed and decided to eat something. I made myself a bowl of cereal and went in living room to watch tv while eating.
I searched for some good tv Show, and while searching i saw that 'Violetta' is on Disney Channel right now. I couldn't help it, so I watched it, even tho I knew that it's going to tear me more up.
It was that episode where Violetta sang Descubri and Leon came and sang along and then they kissed.
I remember that feeling I had at that moment. It was a slow but sweet kiss. Too short for me... I couldn't watch the whole episode. Is too early for this. Violetta Live ended few days ago and with that, I finished my story with Violetta.. I can't I just can't.
I turned off TV and put my bowl on the table.
I can't eat anymore..
I now realised, even if I try I can't let him go.. Everything I see, everything I touch has something to do with him.
But I need to let you go, Jorge...
I need to let you go.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
So this is kinda of a filler-chapter. Just so you know what happend between Jorge and Martina.
Hope you like it!❤
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