"We're so proud of you" my mother beamed. Her short black hair fell over her face creating soft shadows under her cheekbones. Dark against her pale skin it was often the first thing you'd notice. Second her brown eyes. The kind that were sweet like chocolate. Chocolate that melts at the slightest burst of heat or love or happiness but can also grow hard from the cold reality of the real world. I've experienced her cold dark eyes too much to get to where I am now, if this is what I need to do to get everything back the way it was i would do it in a heartbeat.
"Doesn't this just feel right!" her blunt nails dug into the sides of my arms and suddenly felt like sharp daggers against my skin. I don't think I would say this felt right. It feels okay I suppose. I look nice, my hair took a bit longer than usual and the material of this suit feels expensive against my bare skin. My head is rushing with doubts and sounds and thoughts. My mind is like a map but there are always more paths than clues and I fear I took the wrong one.
It's like one path was paved, it'd been that way since I was young, Troye do this Troye do that, if you do these things everything will be okay, as long as you follow this path everything will be okay. The path I've taken is clear and safe, both new and old at the same time, it's the path everyone takes and therefore the right one, right? After all the other one was piled with dust and dirt. There are cracks and bumps and turns and twists and seems like so much more effort. Sure at times it's fun, you make games out of avoiding the cracks and sliding over the bumps, when you look really closely at the dust and dirt and muck it almost shines, like diamonds that just needed a little more time and a little more love to be just right. The other path lacked diamonds.
You walk the path in order to arrive at your destination and today is the day. Today I step off the path and once I'm off there's no getting back on all I can do is wonder what it would have been like to have loved the coal and seen the diamonds.
"Troye? Where are you?" His voice ran through my ears and made me feel at home. Listening to the way each syllable ran off the tip of his tongue forming sounds and words and phrases and sentences in mid air so quickly and steadily, the whole scene felt so familiar. "I'll leave you two love birds alone". The ache of familiarity was so powerful, the moment felt like my earliest memory, like a dream I half remembered. I had the queerest feeling that I'd lived through the moment before. I was living a now by that had already been lived, all that might have been lived before deeming itself brand new.
"Babe, you okay?" Everything about him made me feel this way, I couldn't tell if I liked it. Being in his presence felt so familiar yet so peculiar. His hands were in mine and everything repeats itself. He was the human embodiment of my path, a constant reminder that I'll never see my diamonds form but I didn't mind because he were almost a diamond himself. His touch didn't give me the tingles of the diamonds but made me feel safe. His touch was mine. It was safe and pure and the touch I expected since childhood, this is the path I was meant to take.
"Yeah sorry, déjà vu". his eyes were green. The kind of green that pushes it's way through the piles of gritty snow to remind you that Spring was coming. The kind of green that budded on the prisoners of winter, bringing life back to their branches. That churning, passionate green that the ocean turns during a storm. The colour of the forest after it rains and small fish making ripples in the pond. The colour of deep forest pools, the colour of springtime ferns, the colour or freshly cut grass, the colour of moss covering living cells, the colour of Autumn carrot tops, the green of the first spring leaves on a plum tree, sea green, flecked with the colour of pecan shell as green as summertime water trough. That green that brings hope and life no matter what has happened and looking into those green eyes I knew, I could do it, I could do anything as long as he was near.
"I know it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding but I missed you". Groom. His hands moved to a gentle grip on the back of my neck and I felt uneasy. I wanted to tell him to let me go but I couldn't do that because I was his groom and he were mine and soon I would belong to him and then there's no going back. No changing paths this is all there is, his hands on my back of my neck, his lips that I'd soon be promised to, his green eyes that just aren't enough this time to settle the storm inside my stomach because they're green, they're not the soft diamond blues I know I'd rather be marrying but it's too late now because his hands are on my neck and my legs are about to give way underneath me and I still haven't replied to his statement and he looks worried and I want to comfort him and tell him everything will be okay and someone will love him and look after him forever because that's what he deserves but I can't all I can do is rest my hands on his hips and looking into his eyes deep enough and hard enough and strong enough and maybe just maybe they'll turn blue.
YOU ARE READING
Til death do us part; tronler one shot
Fanfictiontroyler wedding thing based on mortal instruments shadow hunters