The Opinions Of A Somewhat Intelligent Writer.

Part one. Kids.

Before I start this magnificent work, I will tell a bit about how this will go.  Ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between... even though I don't believe in total political correctness, I announce that this will have construction in it.  By that, I mean, in the beginning I'll give some annoyances and by the end I'll be analyzing my deepest philosophies and perceptions and why they apply to the world.  So, in a way, this book thingy will have an intellectual climax of sorts.  Enjoy!

First up on the stage of roasting... Kids! Everyone, I announce to you, the little tiny humans that entertain us day and night... Well, not night. Then they're just effing annoying.  But, any who, kids. 

So, let's start off with my biggest annoyance with kids. 

Their parents.  Oh god, parenting.  I have experienced bad parenting in my family (not my mother, she cool) but God is it annoying.  Seriously.  Here's how to stop this little tiny, easily influenced, crying thing.  You don't give it whatever it wants whenever it wants.  Make it learn that you gotta earn stuff to get stuff.  And whatever you do, if it starts fake crying... Wait.  Now I have to rant.  I'll get back to that later.

Oh my LLLAAAWWWDDD is fake crying useless.  I'll be babysitting my nephew, and he won't get his way, and he'll sit on the couch and cry for anywhere between an hour and two, occasionally glancing back at me to see if I'm falling for it.  An hour.  AN HOUR.  If that isn't dedication, I don't know what is.  Guys, if you have a kid and they start fake crying, stop them.  It's annoying as crap and will lead to lifelong persuasion issues.  You know.  Sociopathy.

My next annoyance with kids.

Why the hell do marketing agencies target kids?  I mean, from a profit standpoint, it's logical, but for God's sake... This is our future!  Why would you want to pressure the parents to give them whatever they want?  That's asinine!  That will lead to a whole generation of Donald Trumps!  (Sarcasm) but seriously, it's stupid.  If you want to have kids grow up right, stop bombarding them with toys they'll use for a month or two, and then throw away!  I mean, it's always up for the parents, but oh my god.  You don't gotta make thirty seconds of "THIS IS AWESOME" to kids.  All you have to do is show the toy, and say "available at Wal-Mart and you'll have the same profits without a bunch of whining mini-humans.  I admit, this part is a bit stupid, and probably bullcrap, but I had to get it out.

Now for my biggest annoyance.

Schooling.  This is what I got from public school so far.  "Alright.  Let's give kids an education!  Yeah!  In elementary, we're going to hire teachers that assume the worst of kids.  If one tells on another and it's bad enough, the teacher will assume they did it, even if they didn't.  Even if the teacher didn't see it and the kids hate eachother and constantly hash it out... we'll believe 'em!  Now, in middle school, we'll try to prevent them from being stupid in highschool.  How?  We scare the crap out of them!  Yeah, that's the ticket.  Hey, kids.  Sex is always bad.  Don't have it until you're like thirty.  Oh, and that reefer you love?  Yeah.  That's bad.  It'll ruin you.  Even though it's never lead to any direct or even indirect deaths.  Even though every person reacts totally different to it.  Lastly, those stupid decisions you make?  Yeah.  Those WILL ruin your life.  Even though everyone made them.  Cause logic."  Okay, I'm done with this one.  But don't... Don't ever get me started on common core.  Oh my god is it stupid.  Just look it up.

ONWARD!