Colorless

Untitled Part 1

I am not black

I am not brown

Not yellow or red

I'm not the beauty

Of a colored country

I'm not the stained skin

Of ethnicity

I'm pale

And thin-lipped

And freckled all over

My skin wishes it were better

But it's just a white

A white with no color

No culture

No history

And because I'm so dull

So plain

So white

So... colorless

I would never know

What it's like

To be discriminated against

Or know hardship

Or ever live on the edge of fear

I don't know what it's like

To walk down the streets

And feel unsafe

For being myself

My color of skin may not show it

But I get hated on

I get scorned

I get laughed at

And judged

For being my skin color

I'm told to stop being a racist

Even if I wasn't being racist

I'm told to apologize for my ancestors

When none were here

During the time of slavery

My ancestors came later

From countries

Where they did their own work

I don't get all the scholarships

Because no administrators want to

Discriminate

So they choose the cultural

They choose the beautiful

Over the plain

The dull

I get asked if I'm really poor

And doubted when I say I am

Because my skin means privilege

Even though the cultural

The beautiful

The colorful

Should be the privileged

We

The dull

Have nothing to teach the generations

Except that when you're white

And you live on the bad side of town

And you cry yourself to sleep

In sheer terror

And vouchers save you from

Uneducation

And food stamps save you from

Hunger

And death

When you don't know if you'll actually

Get to eat tonight

And you're white

That it's invalid

And that when you walk to school

The next morning

And the morning after

You don't know if your neighbors

The cultured and beautiful

Will jump you

For pretending

For being a liar

For trying to fit in somewhere you don't

Because you're white

And to be white

Is to know no struggles

To be white is to be guilty

To be white is to be ugly

And worthless

Because you tried

To kill culture

You tried

To kill beauty

And that's your fault

That people you never knew

Couldn't work for themselves

Maybe not even your ancestors

But people they knew

By being white

Everyone you claim heritage to

Is to blame

So you are to blame

I am white.

I am weak.

I am guilty.

I am ugly.

I killed beauty.

I killed culture.

I am to blame.

So I can never face hardship

I can never be poor

I'm a pretender

But the beautiful

And the cultural

Are the real deal

Even though they

Are the ones who

Blame me