For Eternity........

The Cycle of Life

"Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service."

Huh, the very Shakespeare line he told me when he proposed me 50 years back. Well that's a very different story . First, let me introduce myself. I am Abigail Watson. A 75 years old woman who lived
her entire life in luxury, limelight and well.... in SORROW.

And here I am, lying on a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling and recalling the incidents of my life while living my last few months and waiting for death. "What am I doing here?" To tell the truth, I myself don't know the answer and when I asked for the answer to the nurse ( who is taking care of me for last few weeks), she said that I had fallen from the stairs and had hurt my head badly; resulting in my stay here. ( Gosh! Old age really cracks one up , doesn't it?)
Speaking of the nurse, she is a kind young woman at her early twenties and has a pretty face. She reminds me of my youth except the fact that she has blond curly hair whereas mine was black and wavy.

She became very close to me and was the voice and the eyesight of the outer world to me. Every evening she would come and sit beside me; hold my hand and would mouth words of tenderness. It had become my best part of the whole day and it was the only time when I would not think about HIM. His eyes, His lips, His smile. His personality......
"Good Evening!", her voice interrupted my chain of thoughts. I quickly wiped my tears that were forming and gave her a small smile. Though she used to always have a smile plastered on her face, but today something was different. She was beaming with joy and it looked liked that she would burst any moment. She gave me a quick( but tight) hug and smiled brightly. ( " Well,.it was good to see someone living a happy life , unlike mine though.) She didn't speak a word but showed me her finger in which she wore a lovely diamond....ring!. I gasped. That means someone had proposed her and well he wasn't someone ; he was her Special one. ("And how do I know him? Quite simple cause he is the topic of our conversation for most of the time".)

I was glad to see there love reach the next stage. There love had blossomed into a beautiful flower which signified only purity and was only one of its kind. It was a rare one where it was not only about kisses, gifts or being physical. Their love had transcended the realm of superficiality.
" When is it?" She seemed to be a little distracted so I repeated it again and this time a little louder. "What?" she finally asked when she came out of the little world of hers.
" The Marriage!"
"Oh! After 3 months and..... Yes, you must come. That is why you are the first one to hear about it" replied she a little more ecstatically.

To be honest, that was the only thing that could put me off at that moment and though I wanted to hide it, a small frown settled on my face. She noticed it.
" What is the matter, you don't seem happy?"
" The thing is I can't attend it."
" And why not ?"
" Cause for starters, reason number one would be that I don't have much time and maybe when you will be starting your new life, mine will be coming to an end. And of course you don't want to ruin your special day thinking about an old hag and crying and spoiling your makeup, would you?"
" If you are trying to be funny, I don't think you have succeded." Sarcasm was very clear in her voice and she seemed to be disappointed.
She looked at me with pleading eyes but I had made my answer confirmed by giving her a sad yet warm smile. And knowing how stubborn I was , she knew that there was no room for conversation when I decide upon a thing. And so, without another word she left the room.
After that incident, we didn't talk much for a few days. Though, seeing this made me upset but in one corner of my heart I was satisfied with myself. It wasn't that I was not happy ( Hell No !) I was more than happy but marriage ceremonies weren't something, I enjoyed attending. They would bring some horrible memories which I would rather bury in a casket and that was why I had not attended any marriage ceremony in last 50 years.

A soft knock on the door made me aware about my surroundings. I was again lost in my thoughts when the knock had interrupted me. I still had my eyes closed, when she entered. I knew it was her and so I smiled. As I slowly opened my eyes to be greeted by her warm smile, I was taken aback. Cause contrary to my expectations, she had blank expressions with hint of sorrow in her eyes. Though, I didn't expect everything to fall to its place but still I had hoped that atleast the cold ice between us would have been melted. ( So much for. my expectations though.) She kept a white envelope on the side table and left. Slamming of the door was the only sound that I heard before I was left alone to clear out what had happened just now.