Chapter One.
Ava was cold, her lip quivered as she wrapped herself warmer in her coat. The sea was rough and the tide was out.
As she looked further out to sea she noticed a large ship heading towards the bay.
She started thinking about everything, the future, the past, and the most dreaded, the present.
She hadn't been happy lately, it was as though unhappiness had grabbed her by the hair, wouldn't let her go and was dragging her down into the pit of despair.
The ship got closer to land and her thoughts became darker and she jumped at the noise coming from her starving stomach growling for the food she so longingly wanted but was forced not to have, by herself. She looked down at her lap and cried, for the first time, no one was looking, no one was around, no one judged her, this time she didn't just feel alone, she was.The tide had started to come in, she let the water drown her bright yellow converse. She brushed her hair out of her face and noticed the ship she'd been watching was slowing disappearing out to sea.
Life gets hard when you're sixteen, your future becomes blurred and thoughts of a happy ending fade away like the ship which was barely visible anymore. Her stomach made another howl, begging for some fuel but she denied it any, like she had been doing for the last four days. The sky began to darken, she noticed the stars getting brighter, oh how she wished she was the brightest star in the sky. She wiped her eyes, her grey jumper hung off her shoulder and her once bright yellow converse were soaked by the sand and water that now swam around her feet. She was numb, the cold numbed her skinny long fingers which were covered in silver and gold rings. Her hair was a light kind of brown, but in the summer it transformed into the brightest blonde you could ever imagine. She had blue eyes, that sparkled if given the chance but hadn't sparkled in a while. Her eyes always said the things her voice never could.
She stood up, she felt dizzy, but then again, she always felt dizzy. She climbed the rocks back up onto the main path and followed it until she reached the town, it was dark and everywhere was closed. She glanced in a shop window but only noticed her reflection, she continued staring at herself, noticing her heavy eyes which were the result of all her sleepless nights, she noticed how skeletel she started looking and darling, she loved it. She continued walking, her life was like a secret garden and the key was buried deep within it where no one could reach. She walked until she reached the end of the town, she was at the sea again, oh how she always ended up at the sea. It was starting to get colder, darker, I suppose she liked that. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, a text message from her mother just letting her know she's gone abroad again, home alone, "I wonder for how long this time" she whispered to herself.
She arrived at the house, wondering would she ever call this home again, the memories it holds, the loneliness it provides, the emptiness it always had. Once again her mother had left without leaving any money and only a couple meals for her to survive on. She went to her room which was messy, dark and cold, but at least she had her own bathroom. She opened the cupboard and took out a bottle, took a pill and changed from her drowned dull yellow converse to her black boots. Another buzz comes from her pocket, a text from Nathan, her best friends, telling her to meet him and their friends at the town's only club, so she decided to make her way there. Her make up around her eyes was as dark as the sky, her hair was messy and her clothes were dark, with a gold chain around her neck which she added to her dark outfit.
When she met with her friends they all made their way into the club, the music was loud, the lights were flashing and everybody forgot their problems for a night. She moved around the club, letting the music feed off her bones, letting the lyrics of the songs be everything she wanted to say. Ava was a quiet girl but she hadn't always been this way, people started expecting her to be someone she had no chance at being, these expectations silently ate away at her until she became a frail, quiet, broken sixteen year old.
People swung from the stairs, believing that if they fell it wouldn't hurt, or if they get drunk enough they'll forget that their dad hits their mum. They weren't invincible, no one is. She made her way to the bar, asked for a shot of Vodka and drank it straight, she didn't flinch, no squirming, no nothing, as if she was used to the burning sensation. Nathan came up to her, his quiff-ed brown hair swung in front of his face and covered his dark brown eyes, his drink had spilled on his top, he smelled of desperate teenage girls and Captain Morgans.
'Mum gone again?' he shouted into her ear, the music was so loud she could hardly hear him.
'Don't you know' she replied, downing another shot of Vodka with nothing but a smirk on her face.
'You can always stay at mine, you know that' he said, looking concerned,
'You know me, I'll survive' as she said this she began to walk towards the dance floor, she knew Nathan was still looking at her as she walked away. He worried about her, but he was nothing more than a friend, and he expected nothing more than that. She began to lose herself, the music played loudly in her ears, she began to think, 'what if tonight was my last night'.
