Crappy ways to survive the zombie apocalypse.......for only a month!

Warning, these rules are horrible.

Number one : Do not be scared of Zombies, because zombies are slow and their teeth are not sharp enough to bite us. (Though if the zombies are like the zombies in the movie World War Z, then...well...lets just say we have no hope.)

Number two: Get away from big cities, for only a couple months, then go back into a city because all the zombies would leave the city and so will the humans, so you have this huge place all to your self

Number three: Do not trust anyone, not even that really hot girl that you see in every zombie movie. (Not being a sexist but.....they are mostly the ones that either get a leg, arm, foot, or hand chopped off. Or they just die, and in dumb ways too.)

Number four: Do not be in a group of people, because they will just get in the way, stab you in the back...literally, shoot you, feed you to a pile of zombies, or they might just all die.

Number five: Do not go to grocery stores when the zombie virus is spreading, why? Well if you think about it you are going to need food right? But other people are going to try to get food too. So you should got to a gas station, and go to their little tiny markets. They have lots of stuff such as candy, food, drinks, cigarettes, and gum. Plus no one will think about going there.

Number six: Take all the money you can find, because if humanity takes over the zombie outbreak you will be filthy rich.

Number seven: When Zombies are just starting to spread, get a dog that barks a lot, because when he barks it will be when people or zombies are getting near, it will be good for you, because you would be more alert.

Number eight: Do not go to the military because they will just boss you around and at that time they are not trust worthy.(Even though they have food, water, shelter, medicine, and weapons. But they do not have the courage to help you anymore, its the end of the world, they don't care about you anymore.

Number nine: Never take a gun, because they are to loud and to dangerous.( Take a knife instead.)

Number Ten: Never forget things for example, always remember to bring your knife, always remember where you've been and, always remember things that you think might be important. Well now that I got number nine done then I should go to rule ten, Oh wait what number rule am I on!?

Number eleven:  Never try to lose your humanity. Why? Because people who lose their humanity are co-co for coco puffs.(What I am basically saying is that if you lose your humanity you will most likely become a crazy person, crazy people die first, just saying.)

And finally, Number Twelve: Do not die, even if you want to, don't because you have so much to live for........SIKE, its the end of the world! You have nothing to live for, have to many problems in that situation. Just jump in a pile of zombies to end life. (just saying)

                                                                                        Well that's the end of this worthless story. Hope you enjoyed, or laughed. If you want more stories like this one then follow me on wattpad. Next will be chapter 2 of the "Long Block". Maybe I will do a story of the "Best ways to survive the zombie apocalypse". Well I am going to read some fan fictions now, bye.

Or am I?