You never noticed me staring. I knew it was obvious. Everyone else noticed. Heck, they shipped us. You took that as a joke but it was real I loved you. They knew I loved you because they saw how I looked at you but you never did you were always busy. It hurt so much to have to watch you and know you probably never loved me back.
5. I met you when we were five. Small and adventurous. You used to want to explore. See the world. See magical things. You were convinced you would go and that I would go with you. Sometimes I wish that happened.
I started liking you when I was 11. We were sitting on your bed. Talking about some video game. Your eyes were lighting up and I knew I liked you. I didn't even know if it was okay to be thinking like this. All I knew was that I loved you.
I was about 14 when I started to think about it. I had never really questioned it before. But I realised I never wanted to date boys. Boys were friends to me. They always had been really. I couldn't tell you because you would ask questions. You would have to find out properly and I didn't want to ruin the friendship.
16. You told me when you were 16 you were gay. I saw how nervous you were and pulled you into my arms. I told you it was okay. I hugged you and whispered into your ear. I comforted you as you felt better.
Now we were 18 and you were sitting in a hospital bed. Out cold. Nothing I could do. Stupid drunk driver, stupid shopping, stupid stupid universe.
"She is going to be okay" the doctors kept reassuring me. I didn't want to be told I wanted to see it. Of course I wanted to see it. I wanted my best friend to be okay. I had stuck by you through the pain and suffering. Maybe now you could stick by me.
"Ugh please wake up" I kept mumbling as I sobbed into your bedsheets.
"Well since you said please" you mumbled and my head shot up. My eyes puffy and red. You sat up and looked at me. You quivered in pain sitting up but you pushed through.
You looked sleepy and tired, slowly trying to make sense of the world you were in. You sat up slowly, flinching as you did. All I wanted to do was hug you and take all the pain away but I couldn't. I couldn't save you quickly, it would take time and patience.
You cried when you found out you were paralysed and I sat by you with my arm around your shoulders.
21. 21 was the year you were in your wheelchair spinning around on your birthday excitedly. Your eyes lit up brightly at the joy. I smiled and started to eat my cake. You looked over at me for a moment and watched me eat. You then pulled me towards you and into the hall. I grinned at you and reached to wipe the chocolate paste from my lips. You pulled me closer and kissed me, cleaning the chocolate off yourself.
29 was when we got married. It was small and cute with friends there and then a little dance. No big fancy wedding dresses, no tall scary cake. Just us and it was the best day of my life. My parents were there but yours refused and although we both wished they actually just couldn't make it we knew the real reason. I hugged you and convinced you to smile and you enjoyed everything in the end.
31 was when we adopted our son. People kept telling us when we first got him that he would grow up wrong and that we couldn't do it because we were girls but we laughed them off. He was ours and nice and we loved him and that was what mattered. As we first held him we promised to love him unconditionally no matter who he turned out to be.
45 was when they told us they were Genderfluid. It broke my heart how nervous and scared they seemed and we promised them we still loved them. We pulled them into a hug and we spent the rest of that day watching movies as a family.
50 was when it ended, I lay in a hospital bed covered in injuries as our little family curled up in there we all knew life was draining from me. The same thing that left your legs useless left me dead. Damn drunk drivers. The last thing I saw was your tear-stained face and I just wanted you to smile....
