The Road of Ups and Downs

Broken Minds and Broken Souls

I look down as my parents yell at me.
"Claire! You know our rules and expectations for your grades!" My mom shouts, as my dad stares at my history test in disbelief and disgust.
I start crying from anger as I look up to my older brother. He shakes his head, then walks over and hugs me softly. I have mild autism, which makes it harder for me to process things and to top it off I have dyslexia. The letter s, m, e, and w always get mixed up.
My dad walks over to me and slaps me hard. It makes me fall out of my chair onto the floor, blood dripping from my face to the floor.
I stay on the floor which keeps my dad happy.
My parents storm out of my room to go get drunk at a bar. Tears stream down my cheeks and the blood mixes in with it dripping onto my floor.
My brother picks me up wiping my tears away with his thumbs softly, and with a warm washcloth he wipes the blood off my nose as it continues to bleed. He tilts my head back softly keeping the warm washcloth under my nose softly.
**
A few hours later and I sleep softly staying close to my brother. Soon I wake up and look up at my brother Mikko and he holds me close almost cuddling with me. When he does that it makes me feel safe and protected.
"M-mom.... And.. Dad?.." I ask him softly "w-where are they?.." I look up to him expecting an answer, but he sighs softly "they went to a bar baby girl..." He whispers back to me softly.
'A bar? Oh no... I want to go back with you to your apartment Mikko please bring me with you.'I want to say to him, but I can't.. I'm frozen.
"Claire! Claire look at me... Claire!" Mikko shouts to me quickly as I shake softly.
By the time I'm done with my small seizure, I'm exhausted and fall asleep in his arms as he hums to me softly.
When I wake up I smell the scent of tobacco and mouth wash. I scrunch up my nose then look around. I don't know where I am... Wait.. Yes I do.. I'm in my brother's apartment. I stand up and walk out of his room softly. I'm taken back by the pounding loud music from my brother's roommate and best friend. That's where the tobacco and the mouthwash come from. I cough slightly from the smell and sit back down on my brother's bed.
"Hey sorry, chicka I'm trying to stop, but it's hard." Dimitri tells me as I shake my head looking down
'Hard? Hard my butt.. You don't and wouldn't understand what hard is even if it bit you in the butt." I tell myself smiling.
I can't really talk, well I mean I can, but I usually refuse to do that, also probably, because it's hard to explain.
"Where's Mikko?..." I ask softly looking down hoping Dimitri wouldn't hear me, but he does.
"He's out getting some things... Like clothes and his stuff from your parents house... And yeah.." Dimitri replies not making eye contact with me as he plays random notes on his guitar.
"Why?.." I ask softly. 'Wow this is the most I've spoken since I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and mild autism, that was almost three years ago.' I think to myself looking down.
Dimitri stands up and walks over to me, he touches my leg softly which ends up triggering my PTSD
"Don't touch me!" I shout at him panicking breathing heavy. I start screaming crying out of fear and anger. I wasn't angry for any particular reason I was just angry.
Dimitri quickly wraps his semi-bulky arms around my arms and my waist trying to hold me still like my brother taught him to do when I lash out like this. "Sh.. Sh... Claire it's okay... It's okay calm down..." He whispers softly in my ear as I thrash around in his arms crying. He continues trying to sooth me softly as I cry.
About twenty minutes later I calm down starting to relax. I breath heavily my eyes and cheeks red and my throat dry and sore. Dimitri slowly and softly lets me go.
The door opens as I run from Dimitri's arms into Mikko's quickly. I felt like my soul was broken and lost, with so many minds along with mine that are broken.
From now on, I have a soul that's broken, along with a broken mind. Mikko, Dimitri and I have all come from bad households and that have left us with broken souls and broken minds. I never would think my life could get as bad as it is now.