Trapped

When you loved me

As I walked into the living room I could feel a paralyzingly deep stare coming from Derek. I tried to just wave it off but I couldn't shake the feeling that he knew. Knew my dirty little secret. I had slept with his brother Jeremy, about a week ago... As of then we have an open relationship, but I think I hit a nerve by f*cking his brother.
* Flashback*
"Are you sure he won't find out we've been doing this?" I asked Jeremy as we ate the best gnocchi pasta I've ever had. "Yes my brother, not to be mean, is too caught up in material things to even notice you've been gone when he gets home or, to notice how scared you are to be around him." I really, really loved Derek when we started out, we were in love, not lust. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But now I would do anything to get away from him, he hurts me mentally and emotionally, not yet physically. (Yet being the key word) I shouldn't be afraid of him but it's like, like every thing I do good or bad he doesn't seem to care about. We've been together since I was seventeen, he's three years older than me but I don't give a sh*t. I love him... Or used to at least to. I really started to question him when he missed my high school graduation because he was at his "mom's house". I know he has a very healthy relationship with his mother but when I called to see how his mother was I heard moaning and furniture banging. He told me it was the T.V and they were just moving the couch back to the correct spot, I said "Okay, well thank you for being honest... Can I talk to your mother?" He goes "Oh, um, my moms not home." I respond by saying something along the lines of "You dirty b*stard I hope you rot in hell!" That's when it all started, when I found out he was cheating, lying, not caring...
* End of flashback *
"Babe how are you? I made some Eggs Benedict, if you want some." "You think I want to f*cking eat when I find out you've been hooking up with my brother!!" He screamed so loud I'm pretty sure the only one that didn't hear him was him, because right after he said it his eyes went from that bright peridot green to a dark, dark emerald I had never seen before. He grabbed my phone and started scrolling through my texts with Jeremy, we had quite a lot of dirty conversations ranging from 'I need you!' To some things I don't feel comfortable telling you about... But Derek wasn't quite as uncomfortable reading them so he started to read them aloud. The first text barley audible to the last text which he yelled, (Me to Jeremy): 'He needs to stop before he does something he'll really regret!' After he read it he looked up with tears streaming down his face, but then he just sniffled, wiped them away, and stood up. I tried to say something but before I could he pulled a knife out of his belt. My first reaction was 'Holy f*ck I'm going to die!' My second and third reactions were 'How did he not cut himself?! Damn he has a really nice, ferocious even, v-line!' Then he did it he killed himself... I'm just kidding all he did was take my hand and run the cold shiny blade along the crease lines on my hand. To be honest it felt like some kind of kinky sh*t not even 'Oh my god my boyfriend is going to kill me!' All he said to me, that I remember, was "You know this has been in the works for a while now, I never loved you."
     End of chapter 1