Across the Ocean and other poems

Untrue

I once knew a cat who was friends with a rat

they would go out and paint the town nightly

each night they would call

and say "come out, we'll have a ball"

I would decline their offer most politely

I once knew a whale who had a pet snail

up on his back the snail would ride

We would swim out to sea

the whale, the snail and me

Then let ourselves drift along the tide

I once knew a girl who would sit and brush a squirrel

from sunrise to sunset each day

then her routine got upset

It was too late for the vet

she had brushed it to death the people say

I once saw a bear followed into his lair

by a man wanting bearskin of his own

I heard him scream and shout

but he never came back out

to this day his whereabouts remain unknown

I once knew a frog who was ruler of his bog

he had servants and henchmen galore

when he felt his belly groan

he would get right on the phone

and order takeout from the insect store

I once knew a man named Frank who stole an army tank

then blew up seven houses in a row

then the mayor came around

and threw him out of town

saying Frank you and your tank have got to go.

I once saw a fish being granted a wish

by a genie he had rubbed out of a lamp

I saw him grow two legs and feet

his wish it was complete

as he ran up the beach no longer damp

I hope you don't get mad after all the fun we've had

or yell at me until your face turns blue

please don't say "How could you Nick?"

and beat me with a stick

when I tell you that these words are all untrue.