"Hello Nicole I'm Mrs. Jonson!"
"Hello."
"Have a seat, make your self comfortable."
"Ok."
There was this thing about Nicole that I never really understood, she was not sad, but not happy. She would laugh at a joke or with her friends. But something inside, in her mind, something was there that I can't quite understand. She was sad, she wanted love and joy and happiness but she never quite had it. She was never truly there she was never truly herself.
"Now Nicole it says in your file that you did not want to see me, can you tell me why?"
"I don't need help."
"I don't believe you do, you are here to talk to me, you don't need help."
"I'm not crazy."
"I know."
When she was a little kid she was care free, she had friends and a loving family.it wasn't till her father got laid off that everything changed, he stared drinking. Every night he would come home wasted, he was a mean drunk. So her mom sent him to rehab. She did not understand why her dad was gone for moths at a time but he always came back......and always left again.
It wasn't till she was 11 in 6th grade she stared realizing what was happing. Before her dad went to rehab for the 11th time she told him
"Dad I'm done this is it, I swear to god if you don't get help and stop drinking I'm done with you, I have out up with all your shit for my whole life. You have ruins me. This is your last chance and Belive me when I say, if you ever touch another drink again, you won't have a daughter again and I won't have a dad."
But he came back....and drank.
She started feeling depressed in 7th grade, that's also when the drugs stared.she was Beautiful but never sought in herself. Older kids really did though they were DM her on Instagram and they would talk, and hang out. She was 12 the first time she got drunk, she was 12 the first time she smoked weed, she was 12 the first time she took pills and acid.
Her parents were never really there her mom was a pill addict and her dad was a drunk, her older brother was a pot head. They were all addicted and she was staring. No one in her grade knew about any of it. She did not have friends in her grade all of them were older.
She was good at hiding feelings, she was depressed she felt she was alone, ugly, stupid, worthless, humiliating. And the people in her grade said that too. They told her all these things, and she believed them.
She was 12 when she cut herself for the first time.
