"Close your eyes."
My mother said as she strapped me in the backseat and sped away from our house. I wasn't told why. I was just told we mustn't stay there any longer.
I sat in the backseat, squeezing my eyes shut, clutching on to my teddybear.
But I peeked. I wish I hadn't. People - well not really people, I didn't know what to call them then, littered the streets causing a horrible panic.
"Close your eyes."
I was cradled in my mother's arms, making it to a camp, safe for a night. She sung to me as I drifted into sleep.
She let go of me and sat beside me, and I opened my eyes. She was crying.
I shut my eyes.
"Close your eyes."
A wet washcloth was cleaning my face, getting rid of the dried blood under my eye and nose.
I had been teased and beat for having a mother who they said was crazy.
They said she talked to herself and things that weren't there.
They said we'd be better off dead.
She wasn't crazy. She was just scared. Like me.
I opened my eyes.
Her hands were shaking. Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out.
She was just scared.
"Close your eyes."
That's what I was told when my mother shot her first Walker. The gunshots hurt my ears.
She grabbed my arm and told me to walk away. Not to look back.
I did.
I recognized the Walker my mother had shot. Ms. Winter. She was my math teacher.
I couldn't have shot her. Well, I would of had to. I would definitely hesitate. Did she hesitate? Is that why she's dead?
"Close your eyes. And be quiet."
A member of the group, whose name I couldn't remeber, told me that as I was squished underneath a car with them.
My back was pressed against another person, their arm draped over me, a pistol aimed out from underneath the car. I found this position extremely awkward, considering we just joined this group not too long ago.
The shuffling footsteps came closer. I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming. It was my first instinct.
I went over my life just then. I was only fourteen, the person under the car with me being the same age. It was stupid of us to go alone, well really it was me trying to find my mother who disappeared two nights before and him telling me to stop being an idiot.
And now my idiocy is going to cost both our lives.
The footsteps stopped right in front of us, and I was too scared to open my eyes.
No footsteps commenced. It was still right in front of us.
A gunshot went off, and the figure fell. He didn't fire it, I didn't feel any kick back. Thee both of us didn't dare to move.
"It's alright." Recognizing the voice I opened my eyes in relief.
I wish I didn't.
My mother's newly decaying face stared back at me, blood from the gunshot trickling down her face.
I screamed into my hand, crawling out from underneath the car.
I couldn't ever unsee that.
"Close your eyes."
I whispered to myself, feeling the cool barrel of a stolen pistol pressing against the side of my head.
Grass tickled my ankles and tears ran down my cheeks.
All I could see was her face.
I didn't want to see that again.
Cocking the gun, I took a deep breath, and prepared to pull the trigger, my finger not yet touching it.
I hesitated.
Long enough for someone to tackle me and wrestle the gun from my grasp.
All I could to was sit up and face them. It was the same boy who was underneath the car with me.
I screamed and begged him to give me back the gun. All he did was take the bullets out, out them in his pocket and put the gun beside him.
He grabbed my wrists to keep me from hitting him and trying to grab the gun.
"I can't do it!" I yelled once I realized trying to grab the gun was pointless. "Everytime I close my eyes I see her."
"Then don't close your eyes." He looked at me, a sympathetic look washing over his face. "Just look at me."
