My Haunted Thoughts

Him

I don't know why I care so much about him.. he doesn't even know me. why can't I go a day without thinking about him? he's in my head every second of the day! I want to get over him.. and I've tried, but he is that annoying song that you can't get out of your head. it's always replaying and you can't help but sing along to it. it'll be a year since I first saw him and said to myself "wow, he's .. wow." .. that time I was utterly clumsy and dropped all of my pennies for the foundation I was working and he helped me pick them up. the time I had gained the courage to talk to him or when we played cards against humanity together. I remember the exact day I wasn't scared or anxious around him.. I was comfortable. I know he found someone and he absolutely adores her. I know he will always love her with a passion he would never have for me. I know I will never be her and I will forever envy her.. because she has what I don't.. him. I know he wants to marry her and have children with her and grow old with her. she literally is everything I'm not, and I hope he's happy. I genuinely hope he's happy with her. I hope he and her last for as long as they can. I just want him to be happy. I've always figured him being just a memory.. that guy I've had the biggest crush on. that guy who would never ever see me the way I saw him.