You walked into the bathroom, razor blade in your hand... You knew just what to do. The hate, the rumors, failing in school, and the constant arguing with Niall that's been going on for the past couple of days, it was just too much. You closed and locked the door behind you, hoping Niall wouldn't be home for a while.
You looked at yourself in the mirror. You weren't the skinniest girl Niall ever dated, and you didn't have the flawless skin you wish you had. But today you felt so much uglier and worthless then you normally do.
"@Y/T/N you are so ugly! Go kill yourself already!" "@Y/T/N I think Niall is getting tired of you! You're boring him!" "@Y/T/N you're breaking his heart! You bitch! You're a fucking whore! Slit your fucking wrist already!"
"I'm so disgusting. I'm fat, I'm ugly, and I'm a horrible person. I'm breaking his heart... Maybe I should just end it all... Maybe Niall would be happy to know I'm gone..." You said to yourself, as couple tears fall down your face. You slid down the wall, letting yourself fall to the floor.
"This one is for being a bitch..." You say as you make a cut on your already slit up wrist.
"This one is for being worthless, stupid, ugly, and fat." You say making more cuts on your arm, going deeper the further up you go. You were so lost in your own world that you didn't even hear the door to you and Nialls' flat open.
"Y/N! I'm home princess! Where are you babe?" He called out waiting for a reply.
You quickly snapped out of it and stood up, trying to clean up the blood that was all over you and the floor. Then you remembered the door was locked. Theres no way he can come in. Just when you were about to clean up, the thoughts returned to your mind. The hate, feeling worthless, unloved... It took over your mind.
"Just one more..." You said to yourself as Niall runs up the stairs knocking on the bathroom door.
"Y/N? Open up baby! I need to talk to you! Y/N? Y/N open the door!" Niall said, worried because you didn't respond to him. He must have known what you were doing. He saw the scars a couple days ago when you were arguing. You threw your arms up in the air, fed up whatever you guys were yelling about. His face seemed flushed when he saw them. He never confronted you about them... He seemed to be a little distant ever since he saw them.
You looked down at your arm and put the blade to your skin. Just then Niall busted the door down.
" Princess!? Baby, put it down... Please, put it down." He said frozen at the sight of you. You saw he had tears in his eyes, and was on the verge of balling, but he held it in. You looked at him and shook your head.
" Baby please don't do this! Y/N Why are you doing this!? Please stop! Put the fucking blade down!" He said. He was feeling mixed emotions. Anger, sadness, guilt. He didn't seem to know what to do. All he wanted was his princess to put it down. You stood there, with the blade to your wrist, about to make one last deep cut.
" I'm ugly Niall! I'm disgusting! I'm so fucking fat! I'm just, gross!" You yell at him.
" How can you go from someone so gorgeous and perfect to someone like me!? It makes no sense Niall!" You yell in-between sobs. He was now drenched in his own tears.
"Don't you ever say that! You are so fucking gorgeous Y/N! It's all my fault! I don't show you how much I love you and how beautiful you really are! Babe don't do this because of me! Please!" He said basically begging you to not make the last cut.
"I'm so sorry Niall.." You begin to say. He takes a step closer to you, getting ready to swipe the blade away from you.
"I'm so sorry for always breaking your heart..." you say making that last cut. Niall runs to you grabbing the blade, hoping he took it away in time, but was too late. You turned away from him gasping at the pain you're going through. Niall wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. His fingers on his right hand intertwined with yours while his left hand held onto your arm trying to stop the bleeding. He dug his face in the crook of your neck, giving you light kisses while sobbing.
"No! Baby don't do this! I can't lose you! I can't! Please baby no!" He said sobbing into your neck.
You felt guilt eat you alive. You felt like this time you may have really broke Nialls heart. You began to cry silently, hoping he didn't hear you. Though he probably wouldn't be able to, since he was crying so hard. You suddenly felt a little tired, and before you knew it, the world blacked out, and so did you.
You woke up in Nialls arms, with a sharp pain hitting your arm. You looked down and saw you had a white gauze wrap around your arm. You looked up and saw Niall looking at you with red puffy eyes. His face lightened up at the sight of you.
"Your okay!" He said to you, maybe a little to excited to see you.
You slowly sat up and took in your surroundings. You were in you and Nialls' bedroom. He helped you up and lightly rubbed your back. You moved yourself over to the edge of the bed and sat there with your head down.
You felt the bed shuffle as Niall moved over to you, sitting right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you, and rubbed your bandaged arm with his thumb. He rested his chin on your shoulder and rocked you back and forth giving you light kisses on your shoulder and cheek.
"Baby? Please tell me what made you think hurting yourself would make things better?" He asked with a bit of guilt in his voice.
You took a deep breath in and began to speak, "The hate Niall... I get so much hate from your fans, and I can't take it. I'm failing in school, and you have been very distant from me. I thought it was because you saw the scars. I know you did." You sunk into his hug a little more as he tightened his grip around you.
"Princess, they aren't true fans if they hate on you like that. School? I will help you with your homework, maybe find you a tutor if you want... And as far as me being distant... I just, I needed to think... I saw the scars and I had to come up with some reasons why they would be there, even though I knew it was because you were harming yourself. I never asked you about it because, I didn't want you to get mad at me, or leave me, or think I might find you unattractive, or not love you anymore."
You could tell he was crying by the way his voice was shaking.
"I just, I take this out on myself because I never stopped and thought, maybe all you needed was a hug and for someone to tell you it's going to be okay." He said balling his eyes out. You turned and face him, cupping his face in your hands.
"Niall, this is not your fault. I've done this before, and if its anyone's fault, it's mine. I'm the one doing it to myself. Niall, I love you so much! So much that, I, I don't have the nerve to leave you. Not like this." You ran your fingers through his blonde hair and gave him a gentle, sweet kiss. You pulled him into a hug and reassured him things will get better. He hugged you a bit tighter and didn't let go for about five minutes.
"Your so beautiful... I love you so much." He said giving you gentle kisses on your bandaged arm.
"I will make these go away." He said in-between kisses. You felt tears dwell in your eyes. Niall loves you a lot... And you know he would die if you continued doing this to yourself. You nodded your head as he pulled you down to cuddle with him.
You laid your head on his chest as he intertwined your guys' fingers and legs together. He held you close and gave you light kisses on your head.
"I'm going to help you stop. You won't be hurting anymore, I promise you that princess." You smiled and nodded your head. You heard his heart beat and realized his heart beats for you. You felt safe in his arms, warm, loved... He began to softly sing Little Things in your ear until you fell asleep. You love Niall, and you know your never going to lose him.
A/N..............................................................................................................................................................................
This is the first imagine I ever did and I'm sorry if it sucked. I wanted to make it sweet and stuff, but I think I failed! Hehe ^_^ Anyways, this is a very strong topic and it was kind of hard to write about. If any of you need someone to talk to, I am here. I don't judge, I just listen! :) Love Ya <3
