Confessions of an in Love Blogger (Complete)

Chapter 8: Complicated

 Confession 88: Living in fear is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone. That's no way to live. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder everyday and night. I was praying that my worst fears would never come true. Little did I know it was happening sooner than I thought. “we accept the love we think we deserve.” -Stephen Chbosky, The perks of Being a Wallflower

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I haven't spoken to Zoe since that night. It's been about 2 weeks. I've been ignoring his calls and texts. I won't answer the door and he's not allowed on the premises of my job. I just need a break. Hell I'm breaking. I feel myself slipping back into depression slowly so my LB made me get out the house tonight to go see a movie. I decided on something comfortable. A lime green quarter sleeve crop top,grey bleached ripped jeans and my new pair of green glows. I left my wild nd curly hair untouched. I went with minimal make-up and nude lipgloss. I wore silver a silver heart necklace and mid finger rings on my right hand. I grabbed my black heart clutch with a silver chain strap, placed everything I needed inside. I grabbed my phone to see I had a 12 texts and 5 missed calls.

I made my way downstairs to see LB sitting on the couch. "Ready?" I nodded. I looked at what he was wearing. He had on a black polo V-Neck with a lime green horse,grey polo shorts with black horses all over and his green glows. "Always copying me." he mumbled. I chuckled and rolled my eyes as I headed for the door. "You just wish you could pull off something like this." He chuckled and locked the door.

He decided we should see a scary movie knowing I would be terrified no matter what. "Really LB ? Why a scary one?" I whined. He chuckled and shook his head. He was about to say something but his phone rang. I rolled my eyes and started playing candy crush until I was out of lives. I got a text from Zoe again so I decided to respond this time.

Zoe- How long are we going to go on like this Lai' ?

Me- You hurt me Zoe. What did you expect to happen?

Zoe- Not this. To be honest...Not any of what you told me. You kept shutting me out. What was I supposed to think?

I sighed and hesitated to respond. It was time for the movie to start so I put my phone in my clutch and found us some seats as I waited for LB to come back with all of our snacks. While I waited I decided to respond to Zoe.

Me- I'm trying. Just work with me. Give me time.

Zoe- I'm here no matter what. If time is what you need then I'm willing to give it.

I smiled. Just as I was about to respond the movie started and LB came in. "What you all cheesy for. Just a while ago you were all depressed." He said as he nudged me. "Hopefully things are starting to change for the better." I said with a smirk.

After the movie LB dropped me off at home since he was staying with Palar now. I started stripping out of my clothing as I made my way through the house. I was down to my blue and chocolate lace bra and panty set once I made it to my room. I was to tired to clean up. I just wanted to get a shower and climb in bed for some much needed rest. "Damn ma. If I knew this was what I was gonna get for coming home maybe I should've been on my best behavior sooner." I grasped my chest as I tried to catch my breath. 

I started to shake and tremble with fear. I was praying this was praying this was a dream but once I heard his sidistic laughter I knew reality was here and smacking me in the face.

I called Zoe and turned the volume down as I slowly turned around. "Leland. What are you doing here?" I asked as calm as possible. He chuckled. "What? The love of my life not so excited to see me?" I took steady breaths. "Your not supposed to be here or within 500 yards of me Leland." He shook his head. "You really think a piece of paper was going to keep me away." He stood slowly out of the chair and made his way to me. I stepped back making my way slowly to the door. "This was always the problem Lai. You didn't fucking listen and you always tried me. DIVORCE LAI! Did you really think that would be the end of it huh?" He chuckled as he wiped his face. "Please Leland. Just leave. Thats all I ask of you." I was still making my way to the front of the house. He grabbed my arm and I cowered in pain. He smacked me across the face and I hit the floor hard. I refused to let him see me cry. He grabbed me and had his hands around my throat. I was loosing oxygen and slowly became weak, only soon to be met with blackness.