Just Red

no darkness consumed her.

no evil overtook her.

at least not yet.

so for now,

just red.

“Happy Birthday, Fia!”

Finvarra Brittson blew out the birthday candles on her cake, and this simple notion made the crowd go wild. Our eyes met across the large lump of icing and we shared a small smile.

Happy birthday.

They set down the cake on the table, and immediately, loud music blared throughout the vicinity, and immediately, everyone with a complete set of body parts bobbed their heads up and down and shook “what their mama gave ‘em”. We were sixteen—I had been sixteen for a long time, and now Fia was, too—and all this energy didn’t seem natural (did Ed spike the drinks again?), but then I remembered all these wackos we’d grown up with, and maybe they’ve been waiting for something like this party to release everything.

As delighted as Fia seemed, I knew that her heart rate was increasing and her palms were starting to sweat. Immediately, I grabbed Fia’s tiny wrist and slowly tried to lead her away from the crowd (which was almost impossible in pumps).

When we reached a corner that wasn’t so packed, the fragile brunette I call my bestfriend sighed in relief.

“Nice party we have here.” I scanned the crowd. The decorations were nice and simple, though the streamers were caked in glitter, which made my eyes hurt with the neon. How they (they being my classmates) had managed to pull this off was beyond me. When Fia and I’d walked in and flipped on the lights after a little private party with just the two of us, I almost knocked myself to the ground in surprise when party blowers and neon “happy b-day” signs popped out of nowhere.

Luckily, we were already dressed for the occasion (the dress and heels being Fia’s request).

Fia nodded gently, her sinewy fingers pushing strands of hair behind her ear. “It’s very nice of them to throw me a surprise party,” she utters softly. It was very nice of them to do this for her, and there wasn’t a single bad bone in Fia’s body for them not to, so really, I think Fia just deserved this and more.

But Fia’s delicate eyes were still strained and anxious as she scoured the horde. “Anything wrong?” Moving her to a slightly more spacious environment eliminated any triggers of her claustrophobia panic attacks, but tension continued to pour out of her in waves.

“Nothing.” Her eyes cast down to the floor now.

“Fia—“

“I said nothing, Barry!”

My mouth shut close. So did hers. She looked just as surprised as I was. “Sorry.”

“S’okay.” I shrugged.

Her apprehension didn’t stop at all. It seemed to worsen and worsen every single day. Her hands would tremble whenever she’d open her locker at school. She’d glance around the hallways, craning her neck in every direction possible. Her shoulders would tense when someone tapped her shoulder or called her phone. She’d go long ways to avoid the cafeteria food service and. She even looked like she wanted to fight for the nearest front seat the other day during Chemistry.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I didn’t care if she was going to yell at me again, I asked her what was wrong. But it was the same thing from her: “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is fine. Don’t be so worried.”

The quiver in her voice and her flitting eyes were not left unnoticed.

Weeks later, the Spring Fling came up. Fia went with Seymour Galler (a boy who had managed to gather up courage to ask her out). I, of course, went with Ed. “You look nice,” he’d complemented at some point. My smile reached up, and I hoped that Fia had been having a nice time, too. Craning my neck, I glanced over my boyfriend’s shoulder to see where Fia was. She stood next to Seymour, chatting politely. I sighed when I saw her hands shakily clutch her purse.