I dedicate this book to rosecute you were always there for me when I went through bulling. thank you!
IN THE BEGININNG
chapter one
"I rather be a nice nobody then a mean somebody"
-anonoymos
You know those bratty girls that walk the school halls? "Ignore them and you wont have to get hurt." My mother always tells me that, but sometimes its just hard when they hurt you. You just don't and cant make a change. Until one day one of them got banned for a most killing a kid , littarly the girl had to go to the hospital she had asthema .She was my best friend, Victoria tanner. She was beautiful in her way but then again she had asthema. the bullies names were Claire , Audrey Rhegan ,Megan, Abby, Maddie, the leaders were Audrey and Claire. They were all at one time my friend but one day they wanted me to hurt a little kid and I told them "if hurting people is what you want me to do to be your friend then im not ever going to be your friend."
I felt hot tears in my eyes, how can they be so.....so evil. It all made sense now one day one of them was snickering at me and said hey "brit brat wanna race hon", I said umm.....sure why not but really I just did it to wipe that smile of that face. So the race started behind the school, after school, I didn't want to do it but she new if she won and the word around she could make a huge difference in her appearance. It was Claire vs Me, when we started the race Audrey was telling us when to run the loser had to..... I don't want to tell. so we started and a was ahead then Claire and me were tied and I saw that she l tripped me and I fell but to her surprise I got right back up she was shocked. Right before I finished she said "STOP!" and I right away stoped I looked at her feriosly and told her "whats the matter with you!"
"Well umm..... if you wanna you can join my gang you can join. " But you have to do everything me and Audrey say." I accepted right away, but it was the greatest mistake of my life.
Its one of those mistakes i will never forgive my self for doing. She later told me "first we have to replace your garbage at th mall." I never knew why she choose me to race with her, or told me to stop before i won but one thing was sure she was planing a scheme. Soon after that day she changed me, she changed me and i hated acting like her but i had to, because she said i had to do everything she said.
Chapter 2
the horrible guilt of .....
my life sucks I cant think of one thing that would even make it good enough to live through even though im just in 5th grade, I know more about life than I should. Some people just don't get it, while the clique stays and trys to KILL people I don't know how to stand up for myself or others. Im lonely I miss Victoria I just cant help the fact to even this she isn't here anymore because of me
If only.....
if only.....
if only.....
some times I sing to myself to keep myself calm.....
I always sing, the song ROAR by katy perry, because....it says the words im to scared to say.I wish someone would like me....as a friend of course........ my life has to many pauses, my father died, my best friend did to and I, I don't know what to do. im to stupid to be in school but smart enough to beat the REAL "brit brats" in ANYTHING.ever since th car crash things have died.......... like them..........
Every single day my heart beat feels slower and slower and slower........
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the next day at school was probly one of the worst days of my whole life, I could never be more embaressed.......
Chapter 2 1/2
the embaressment
RRRRIIIINNNGGG! the bell rang after first quarter after math, (I always hated math) and then it was time for lunch. As soon as I got my mush A.K.A school "food", I sat down by myself, like everyday, and then I realized I forgot my math gym cloths in my locker. So I stupidly got up and left my food there to get my cloths on, but little did I know that the real "brit brats" put knockout poison in my food. On the way to my locker I had a weird feeling,i felt like I was being watched. I got goosebumps all over me, In science we learned about knockout poison, Mr.Nortale told us "students, be very careful giving it to your test frog, if you put to much in the food, it will get them into a coma." I was thinking of his words while I was putting my cloths on, and as I was speed walking back to my lone table. But as soon as I got into the lunch room Claire and Audrey seemed to be poking at my food, It seemed suspicious, so I took out my cheap phone and video taped it. I know that sounds stupid but you never know when you might need evidence of something.......
if you want more please tell me so I can write more!
