Spectrum (boyxboy)

May 07th 2014

Dear Ma,

I have been on many dates during my twenty two years life. Albeit, they were with people I didn't want to pursue a relationship with, but I had gotten around.

I didn't understand the jitters in my stomach that morning. I felt like a thirteen year old girl would, before her very first date. We hadn't even called it a date and yet, the pterodactyls swarming in my stomach seemed to think otherwise.

At work I had been clumsy, I was dropping paint tubes around the place and at one point tripped over one of the boxes as I wasn't paying attention to where i was going.

It was three now, I had an hour before I was supposed to meet him.

Him, I had realised on the tube that I didn't even ask him what his name was. Nor had he asked me mine. I added that to my mental checklist before I finally grabbed my keys, slipped my phone into my back pocket and stepped outside the safe haven of my apartment.

It took me about half an hour to walk to the coffee shop, making sure I didn't step in any puddles littering the sidewalk, drawing patterns on the bleak ground on my way.

I was half an hour early.

Which is why I was surprised when I saw him sitting outside. I didn't even realize that I had stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn't realise that I was staring at him. He had me completely mesmerised.

Despite how mind numbingly cold it was outside, that was where he sat. Beneath the faded green canopy. A black peacoat wrapped around his lithe frame and a grey beanie stuck atop his unruly mess of blonde hair. The coffee sat in front of him was steaming, white tendrils curling around his face, doing nothing to sate the redness in his cheeks.

I had been staring for at least five minutes now. I couldn't help it, I realised. He was staring at the traffic that was passing by. That small action looking ethereal, angelic even on his delicate features.

With much determination on my part, I finally willed my legs to carry me forward, towards where he was sitting.

"Hi" I said, startling him out of his stupor and causing that otherworldly smile to overtake his face when he realised it was me.

"Hey" He said "Though you weren't going to show"

"I'm the one that asked you. Why wouldn't I show?" I asked, curious as to why he would think that.

"I just thought you'd have better things to do i guess" He said, eyes falling to his lap.

I don't know why, but in that moment all i wanted to do was, take him into my arms and hide him away from all that was hurting him.

"Im just gonna go inside and grab a coffee" I said, confused and angry at myself for the onslaught of unwanted emotion.

"Oh yeah, sorry I would've waited, but it was kinda cold" He said, pink blossoming in his cheeks and staining the porcelain skin in a way that made me feel all kinds of things.

Muttering a quick incoherent sentence I hurriedly made my way inside, once again even for a moment, running away from the tiny little sixteen year old that somehow scared me more than anything else in this world.

Once I was inside, the smell of coffee and warmth cloaking around me, only did i realise that I didn't want to leave him alone outside. Somehow his thin arms and frail body didn't seem like they could fend off the brusque men that traversed the streets of London.

My earlier resolve of escaping him forgotten, I hurriedly ordered my coffee, almost tripping over my own feet in my haste to get back to the stormy eyed boy sitting outside.