Reflection

His name is Kyungsoo and he’s sad. He isn’t the type of sad that’s beautiful nor lovely, but the depressing sad with an unexplainable reason. He's a different one in this happy world, but I believe he’s truly amazing. It’s been more than a year that I've first started watching over him and I honestly am in love with him. And I must eradicate the thing destroying him and causing this.

I can't help his sadness though, no matter how much I want to. No matter how many times I see the painful sorrow in his eyes and lethargy in his actions, I can't fix him. He doesn't even know who I am or what I look like; his reflection is my facade. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me anyway, I’m not apart of his world. It isn’t meant to be. But that little spring of hope in the back of mind constantly tells me he isn’t truly broken but bent and I will be able to fix him.

As any usual morning, Kyungsoo’s alarm pesters him to wake up, but he lays in bed for a few more minutes. It seems as if his actions are beginning to replicate his emotions. When the vibrant sunlight of monochromatic Seoul drifts onto his eyes, he then slowly rolls out of bed. Kyungsoo dreadfully starts his habitual routine of getting ready.

As the shower runs, and steams fill the room, it is perfunctory for me to convey a message on my side of the mirror. It’s the simple but meaningful things like a smiley face, a compliment, or a daisy. The reason I chose the daisy is because it signifies innocence, a loyal love, trustworthiness, and purity.

Sadly, dongsaeng doesn’t notice it before it starts to fade away. Even though he doesn’t notice me, I notice many things about him. His breathing isn’t the typical inhaling and exhaling, it’s more of long, exasperated sighs. He rarely smiles or laughs, and when he does it’s at the stupid things in life.

As I fell into the rabbit hole of my thoughts, I heard him mumble something as his eyes were fixated on the daisy I drew. The expression on his face didn't show confusion on how it got there, but anger on what it was. Kyungsoo drew a judgemental glance once more and growled, “Life isn't about smiles and daisies. If anything, it's more of broken smiles and kicking daisies.”

As new mornings passed, D.O stopping linger in bed. He would shower then quickly look at the drawings I left him on the mirror. There wasn’t any laugh or smile, just an annoyed look on his face. This was his daily ritual until one day he came home crying and rushed to the sink and washed his face. Kyungsoo’s expression showed hopelessness, I was a bit worried until he laid his head on the mirror. As a sign of affection, I laid my head on my side and I felt there was no longer a care in the world.

That soon ended as I heard a crack in his voice as he begins to cry and then repeatedly bang his forehead on the mirror. I scream, “Kyungsoo, stop! You’re going to break the mirror!”, but to no avail. There’s a sharp crack and glass shards crash towards the floor. Across from me I see shards with drips of blood and a terrified boy. Among his hyperventilation, I finally say, “Hi, my name Kris.”

The fear on Kyungsoo's face begins to dissipate. "So what I’ve heard is true about the other side of reflections. All this time I thought I was the reflection taking care of you but it’s vice versa. I had never imagined this world to look like the second releasing of Pandora's box.” His voice sounded convinced but not impressed.

I looked into his giant eyes and replied, "Now that this has happened, all we have left is hope. I am going to help you.”

“No, don’t give me that. Just no. I surely don’t know who you are, and what makes you think I need your support?”

Just then I felt the true meaning of unrequited love, it felt as if the mirror fell crashing to the floor a second time. Forcing back tears in my eyes, I look into his cold stare and say, “You’re different from the others. You’re alone and you don’t love anyone, not even yourself. I can see the pain in your eyes and lethargy in your actions. They’re crying out for a helping hand. I’ve set aside those reasons so that I can finally tell you that I love you.”