The Journal

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9/25/14

I can't talk to my friends about this and I certainly can't tell my parents but all day, every hour, every second. They're yelling, shouting, talking, some even whispering, they never stop. She was different, she was important. It wasn't that she was the loudest, in fact, she was indiscernible among the screaming and yelling. She never spoke above a whisper, her voice was shrill and child-like, I could never get her to stop. I couldn't get any of them to stop, no matter what I did.I tried everything, and I mean everything.

10/15/14

The importance of school has faded and the life I once had has disappeared all together. My grades have dropped, I can't sleep, everything is falling apart.

How can you escape what you can't see?

10/17/14

I saw her today she stood at the corner as I passed by and I knew it was her. It couldn't be anyone else, some might say it could have been someone else, some other little girl. But I know, it was her, I know it.

10/18/14

She knows I've seen her she told me, and now. She's much louder than before, the whispering is gone. She speaking to me now and I can feel her breath. The voices, the other ones, they're gone, I think she killed them. For weeks they've been gone the wretched voices I've tried everything to get rid of are gone. And I have never wanted them more.

10/23/14

She doesn't exist and yet I know she does. I've talked to a man who spent way too much money for a piece of paper on his wall. He's told me she isn't real, but he can't lie to me. He says she isn't real and yet she stood behind him the entire time. How can she be a figment of my imagination if she stood there. If she looked real. No. I won't let them dissuade me, she is real. I'm not crazy.

10/28/14

She's telling me to do things. To hurt people. I don't want to but she says if I do. She says, she'll stop. She says she'll leave me alone. I can be at peace if I do it them, if I hurt them, if I kill them. I can't though peace sounds so nice but, I just can't.

10/31/14

She speaks so much louder now, she's not even speaking anymore she's yelling and my head feels like it's vibrating. I want her stop, I want her to STOP. She'll never stop, not unless I do it, she told me so. Maybe. If she'll leave me alone, if only for a second. I just want silence.

11/12/14

I blacked out yesterday, for an hour or two in the evening. I don't know what happened or what I did. All I know is that she's quiet.

11/14/14

I turned on the news apparently some psycho killed a man last night slit his throat they can't find a reason at all. I can't believe people like this exist.

11/15/14

I layed in bed last night and I was thinking she hasn't said anything in 3 days, she's leaving me alone. Someone's dead and... I think I might have done it. 

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