Gaining the will to live

A truth is Revealed

Harry couldn't believe it was happening. He had kept it a secret for three years, and now he was being forced to tell his two best friends one of his darkest secrets. His honorary uncle, Remus Lupin, stood behind him as he sat in one of the sofas in the Gryffindor common room, facing Ron and Hermione. The common room was empty, thank god for small miracles, because everyone else was at dinner.

Harry could not stop fidgiting with the sleeves of his robes, he was so nervous. He knew his friends would be very dissapointed when he told them what was wrong, but, on the other hand, he also knew that they would be able to help him. But that's the question Harry doesn't have the answer to: Does he want help?

Harry thinks back to only two hours ago, when Remus had, accidentally, discovered his secret.

'FLASHBACK'

Harry Potter stood in the prefects bathroom in front of the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He had gotten the password from Ron earlier that day just for this. In his right hand, was the dagger that Sirius had given him the Christmas before he was killed in the Department of Mysterys Incident. Both of his sleeves were currently rolled up, revealing both his forearms. And on his forearms, we're tons of scars and cuts in different stages of healing. He had started cutting his arms three years ago, after he had been told that Sirius couldn't be freed, and he was going to have to return to the Dursleys.

Harry slowly looked away from the mirror and instead gazed at the dagger in his hand. He became transfixed as he studied the sharp blade, imagining it cutting through his arm, drawing enough blood to make him pass out. After a few minutes he could not hold back any longer and brought the blade to a unmarred section of skin on his left arm and slowly push the blade into his skin, he gasp as the cut burned with pain, but at the same time relief as he tempererly forgot all his worries and problems.

He stared in a strange sense of satisfaction as blood slowly flowed from the cut and down his arm until in ended up dripping into the sink. He smiled grimly as he moved the blade down and cut again, basking in the relief it brought for a second time. Everything around him seemed to fade, and in that moment he felt free. He felt... Alive.

Suddenly everything came back as he was abruptly brought back to reality by the sound of footsteps heading his way. Harry hurriedly rinsed the blood off his arm and down the sink but before he could hide the dagger or pull his sleeves down the door opened and in walked Remus, or professor Lupin as he now had to be called. He came back to the school to teach history of magic, seeing as professor Binns had finally moved on to the next great adventure.

Remus froze as he took in the sight in front of him. Harry knew he must make quite the sight, it's not every day you walk in on your honorary nephew holding a dagger with blood on the blade and his sleeves rolled up and his arms covered in cuts, some still bleeding too, after all. Remus must be in shock, and all Harry could do was stare at his feet, ashamed that his 'Uncle Moony' had to see him like this.

"Harry..." Remus whispered. Harry slowly looked up and saw Remus looking at him with sadness and a little understanding. To Harry's surprise, there is no trace of disgust or disappointment.

"Hey Remus..." He whispers back, a small sad smile on his face.

Remus walks over and gently takes the dagger from Harry's hand.

"Harry, you can't be doing this to yourself." Said Remus quietly as he cleaned Harry's arms.

"I know..." Harry murmured, "I've tried to stop, but I just can't... Remus, please... Help me stop." Harry begged.

Remus looked up into Harry's eyes and saw that Harry really wanted to stop hurting himself.

"Don't worry Harry, I'll help you, but you have to really try to stop. I'm not going to take your dagger, but I want you to come to me after dinner everyday to show me your arms. And if you get the urge to cut, please come talk to me instead, alright?" Remus asked as he finished cleaning Harry's arms and stopped the bleeding.