The Wall

What happened

You know how you always believe that someone's gonna always be there no matter what. There gonna be there when your crying, laughing, scared, and even humiliated. That person for me was you, but you blew it. You left me in the dust when I needed you the most and sometimes I wish I can get you back one day hoping that you would know the pain I went through. Here I am though heartbroken by what could've happened. What I thought should've happened.

Dammit why do I still think of you and everything we went through together that was good. What happened to us?? I regret telling you that I loved you. I regret letting you in. There's something about you eating me away. I loved the old you but what you have become I can care less for. I want that person I loved. That person who wouldn't cheat on me. That person who wouldn't steal. That person who made me feel safe.

I learned that I can't trust anybody no matter what they say or do. I need to keep my guard up and hope for one day to be healed. You were my first love and I was hoping my last, but it wasn't meant to be true. I built a wall between me and the world and nobody will be able to cross it. Nobody will be able to hurt me physically, mentally, or emotionally.

You can't hurt me anymore. You may still be in this world but you can't hurt me. How I believed in you when I was younger. The idiot I was to believe we'd get married and live happily ever after. Stupid fairy tales making little girls believe that there is a prince coming to rescue you. Well guess what it's all freaking fake all of it. You were suppose to be my stupid prince you weren't suppose to be the villain. You were suppose to take me away and marry me but I didn't know better. I didn't know I was lying to myself.

Come to think of it you did take me away but not to a better place. A place much worse because I didn't know what was going to happen at least when I was at my house I knew what to expect. I knew everything that would happen. The place you took me too I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I just knew what I thought would happen.

After I stopped rambling I started to drift off to sleep. Even though I know it's worthless to even try cause I know id wake up cause of nightmares. Oh how you ruined my life that I can't even sleep. Why do I have these nightmares even though I know you can't hurt me anymore. You're in jail far far away. You cant reach me here I'll be safe I try to reassure myself. I start crying which then makes me even more tired which is good maybe today I won't have nightmares. We'll just have to see...