I think one of the most challenging things in life are coming to the realization that someone doesn't need or want you anymore. You keep telling yourself that its ok and not to care but that's the hard part... It's not ok. You act like you'll be better of without them and that if they left it wasn't worth it but you know your a reck and a mess. You feel worthless and feel like giving up because the person you wanted/loved most gave up on you. You try to apply everything you have into being someone elses idea of perfect and beautiful and funny because honestly, that's what they were to you. You are so focused on this perfect image of a relationship/friendship you guys could have had. But it doesn't work out that way. Commonly, it goes to a point were you can only pull so many jokes before they stop laughing, only try so hard to look your best before they call you beautiful (or even try making them think your beautiful), only pour out how much you want this to succeed and how you feel towards them before they go silent all together, but most of all you can only push so far before you stop trying all together and just let the tears fall like never before knowing they probably never even wanted any thing to do with you and they were just trying to show everyone how stupid you were. Now all you have is shadowing memories and now you question yourself one last time if you were even ever good enough because that one person you hoped would always be there... Left...
