Empty Rooms

6.14.2015 11:37

I don't know why, but I feel like when I look back on what I wrote almost two years ago, nothing has really changed. Sure, I have been tossed and turned by the struggles of life, yet what I write still remains the same. It's funny, because this story was written in better days, yet I feel like I could have come up with something not so different at the moment.

Dear You,

Hi. I don't really like writing letters online, because I feel like it lacks personality. Sure, writing with a pen and paper isn't really the same as talking, but the way the pen flows across the paper just makes it seem real.

It is real isn't it?

After all, sometimes I can't tell the difference. It's like waking up after a spectacular dream only to realize you have to go back to reality. t just kinda sucks.

I don't know who you are, or where you are, or anything about you. I know you are there though, because if you weren't this would all be pointless. But I do believe, because sometimes that's all you need to do. Believe. Believe that there is someone who actually cares out there. Believe that someone is genuinely listening to what you are saying, and doesn't view it in a judgmental or bad way. I want that person to be you. And you could just be a pigment of my imagination, or just a coping mechanism, but I don't think that's it. I think you are there, somehow. So, now to storytelling.

I was dumped. Not by a girlfriend, not by someone I liked. But by someone who I loved. And sure, they may say that friend-dumped isn't a thing, but it is. And it hurts. More than just about anything in the world. It hurts to sit necxt to the person everyday in fourth period and not wantting to say anything, because you're afraid of what they may reply. It haunts me to think that those intricate little bits of each other we used to share are gone, swept away by a torrent of likes and comments. And blocks. Of course, how selfish of me to focus so much on social media to actually hurt from being blocked. How much it kills me everyday to click "follow" on your profile to see the green words turn grey.

So, you, maybe I'll write again soon, but now I have to organize my thoughts. This is only a beginning.

1:15 6.15.2015