2 AM

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by kerphernelia

by kerphernelia

"2 AM"

It's 2 AM and I'm still awake.

I'm reflecting upon my insecurities;

I'm too fat.

I'm too scarred.

I'm too ugly.

I'm too depressing.

I'm too I-N-S-E-C-U-R-E

And nobody could ever love me.

It's 2:07 AM and yes, it took me seven whole minutes to write that because I cried.

My tears still stain my face,

And I still bleed from my wrists

More than I bleed every twelve months each year.

Shouldn't I just be dead already?

It's 2:09 AM and I'm writing faster and faster because my eyes are failing me.

Could I be sleeping?

Could I be dreaming?

Could I be dying?

I don't know, but...

I want to scream.

But I've sewn my own mouth shut with the lies and the secrets I've hidden from my closest enemies.

It's 2:10 AM and I am now in my grave.

This grave, I dug myself;

I can scream all I want but no one will ever hear me because I am already

Six.

Feet.

Under.

It's 2:12 AM and the dirt is pouring in.

Does anybody notice that I'm still alive?

Does anybody notice that I'm still awake?

Does anybody notice that I'm still breathing?

Nobody notices me, because it's past 2 AM, and everybody is sleeping.

But,

Still

Awake

And now, 2:14 AM is just a number on the clock which marks the moment I shut my eyes for eternal rest.