The mysteries of John Bapst high

Chapter 1:Lets get illuminaughty

A rumor had been going around the halls of John Bapst. Not a regular rumor, no one had caught that 9th grader writing friend fiction again, no teachers had committed suicide. No, this rumor was much more mysterious, much more sexual. The rumor about he schools involvement with 9/11

I've been in hiding for the past three months. I've decided to write about what's happened. For the safety of those involved I've decided to change names. My name is Morgan. I was a 10th grader  in an undercover investigation concerning this very school. I was an agent of the FBI and our sources have told us something alarming. The illuminati is involved in this school. Secrets are hidden amongst musty sex dungeons deep under the school. In this school they're secret rooms. Pedophilillic teachers, a lot of white people, and the scariest part. The illuminati

Before we begin with the story you have to know the tribes of this school, everyone's involved in one the major ones are:

The Asians ( currently warring. sub types that all hate each other)
The football team ( discusses national women's day and how it's unfair. Secretly all actually SJW's)
The Wasians ( white people that hang out with the Asians. Always use chopsticks for some reason even though the actual Asians don't)
The freshmen ( very annoying )
The scholars: (all the care about is school)
The butterfly's ( involved with every group in some way)

I had chosen for the interest in the operation ( code name: Let's get Illuminaughty) that I had to be part of the butterfly's. They had constant access to loads of information and I needed it all if i was going to find out the root of this evil.

I was driven up to the side of the school so I didn't get hit by the cars (several students had died by being run over will going to the corner store) I stepped out of my FBI limo. my butler Lars rolled down the window and hands me my backpack.
"Sir, your mission is to infiltrate the school and collect data on current and past rumors. Your mission is purely reconnaissance. Don't get into any action. Report everything g to headquarters." I nodded.
"What's in the bag Lars?"
"Several mini spy cameras, a Anal probe, a FBI phone equipped with a password cracking system and the latest version of angry birds, and finally D.E.A.T.H ( Deez nuts Equipped Ass Terraformer ft. Anal prolapse .Hellapse)gun. Please sir only use it in emergencies. I nodded and looked at the castle like school I clutched my bag and started towards the old building, ready for my mission.