The burning from my stomach to my chest, all the way up to my throat. My head spinning, ready to explode. My heart ready to break and my heartbeat, stopped in time. My hands begin to tingle and my legs begin to grow weak. I needed to sit. Bearing this news pulls gravity even harder on my body. I drop the phone and fall on my hands and knees and pray to God it wasn't true.
The tears rolling down my cheeks and the pain in my head is unbearable. I'm begging and yelling until I couldn't breathe. Still crying and trying to catch my breath, I pull myself to my bed, trying to talk to my father. All I thought was, this can't be true, no, this can't be true, please no. I've never felt like this before. My heart has just dropped.
As I end the phone call, tears just kept falling, makeup keeps running, my head keeps pounding. Thump, thump, thump. All I hear is my heart pounding. The room is getting darker and darker. I feel the anger bubbling inside me, like I could have changed something so it wouldn't have happened. The tightness in my chest, feeling like there is someone hovering over me and feeling as if anything could happen next. I don't understand how this could have happened, it was too soon.
My grandfather, Butch, hasn't been the greatest grandfather. He was super nice to me and caring, but not to my other siblings. What can I say? I'm just that loving. Butch had so many friendships with so many people. Even if we hadn't talked in years, we still had a special connection. I will always remember the day that we all gathered at his house for Christmas 8 years ago and got my first sewing machine. I still have it to this day.
Today, a cold December day, only a few hours before New Years Eve, my grandfather had passed away and crossed the gates of Heaven. A heart attack from a blood clot had taken him away from the face of earth. I could have had the chance to talk to him if I wouldn't have made an excuse to stay home because I was too lazy to leave the house. It's all my fault. I could have changed so much in that one day. That one simple response could have been life changing.
