I Have No Idea Yet

Sneak Peek!

Authors Note:
Sorry for any errors, spelling mistakes, confusing sentences, or missed punctuation.
Please tell me if I should continue to write this because I'm really uncertain about this and your support would be really amazing. And keep in mind that this is only a sneak peek.
Thanks.

"Percy, please." He begs tears filling his eyes "I didn't mean to." He whispers.

I feel nothing. No emotion whatsoever. It has to end I can't continue to pretend like it's nothing because it's slowly killing me every time this happens. I knew that he had been cheating but, just this once I wish I could be wrong, no matter how bruised my ego would be.
"Oh, so you're saying you accidentally cheated on me again?" I exhale loudly "How could you? Is it because I'm not good enough for you? What does she have that I don't, boobs?" Tears start to form in my eyes but, I blink them away. I still have hope that it really was all an accident and he was just drunk, like every other time he cheated on me.

"Were you drunk?"

He looks down then back up "No" He says quietly. He might as well have stabbed me, that probably would have been less painful.

"How long?" I whisper.

He actually has the decency to look confused.

"What?"

"How long have you been cheating on me?" I answer, my voice betraying just how broken I feel.

"This is the only other time that it has happened, it won't happen again. Ever. Please, Percy" He pleads reaching out as if to touch me, only to cower away by the look in my eyes.
I laugh bitterly "Not it's not. I had my suspicions about what was going on" Guess I was right all along "How do I know you won't do it again? How can I trust you now after everything we've been through?"

"You can trust me, I'll never do it again" He says, he eyes begging for sympathy as the tears fall down his face.

I just stare at him "I don't know that. You don't know that. You've already cheated on me too many times to count" This has to stop.

By now the tears I tried so desperately to keep in are working their way down my face "I can't keep doing this" I say gesturing between us "Only to have my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly"

His face is somber as he continues to plead "I said I was sorry, please. I've already told you it won't happen again" And look where that got us. Does he really think I'm that stupid to actually believe him? Three years we were together, did that mean nothing to him?
"Yeah you're right" Relief flashes across his face "It won't happen again because we're no longer together" I take a deep breath. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do " I'm breaking up with you. I can't keep going though all this pain every time you decide I'm not good enough. I'm done" He looks horrified finally realising how much it actually hurts.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning to collect my things" I say finally letting the dam burst.

"Please don't do this. Please stay, I can't live without you"

"You should have thought about that before you cheated the first time"

I pull the little black box out of my jeans pocked shoving it into his hands. His eyes widen as he opens the box slowly sinking to the floor on his knees, as if he could no longer hold his own weight up.

I let out an emotionless laugh "I was going to propose to you tonight, I had the whole thing planned out just to make it perfect, for you"

Fresh waves of tears start cascading their way down his face. His pleas nothing but empty promises.

"Goodbye Connor" I declare turning my back on him and everything we had, slamming the door as I exited the house we once shared.

As I make my way down the footpath a slow, steady stream of tears make their way down my face. How could I have been so stupid to believe that he actually loved me. Maybe it's all my fault. Maybe I'm just not smart or even attractive enough for him but, you'd think after three years of being together that if he had a problem with me and who I am that he would have ended things before anything serious happened. Like, I don't know maybe someone proposing.

He promised. Goddamn it he promised! That he wouldn't break my heart and now it's shattered into a million pieces, most likely never to be healed again. I have nowhere to go anymore because being the idiot that I am, I completely ignored the warning bells that went off in my head the first time I met him. And I continued to ignore my conscience when it was screaming at me to walk away then and there. If that wasn't bad enough I also ignored as well as stopped talking to altogether, my friends because at the time I thought that I couldn't even function without him in my life. They probably all hate me now.

I need to think. I just need to think, even if only for a minute to sort out all this crap circling around my head. Eventually I decide to go to the only place that's made me feel at home and like I actually have a purpose in quite some time now. The park. I remember when we were first starting off our relationship we would constantly fight over the smallest of things, so I would always come to the park to calm down or when I needed some alone time.
So with my destination set in mind, I make the short journey to the place I call home.
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So? What do you think? Is it worth continuing?