All The Things I Wish I Had Said

Family Business

Caution - Aggressive language, I was angry when I wrote this. Sorry, not sorry

One of the only memories I have as a kid is my parents fighting. My dad was yelling, my mom was freaking out, my 22 year old aunt got us into a car with my brothers and mom, went to my Grandma's house in the middle of the night on New Year's Eve. Dude, I was fucking 4 years old, kids shouldn't go through that shit. 

They were divorced when I was 5 then I found out THIS YEAR that they got divorced because she was cheating on my dad for a long time, years! I could've been someone else's kid, like no that's not cool. Then she's a fucking judgmental bitch half the time with how I look, act, watch, and wear, she doesn't understand me, she only yells at me. It's like she's not even trying. 

Then this summer (I live with my Dad during the year and in the Summer I go to my Mom's), on my LAST NIGHT there, her and my step dad decide to have a drink or two. I get woken up at 4:30 am (My flight is at 10 am) to my crying mother saying that we have to get out of the house. It was happening all over again. 

I had to throw my ginormous suitcase down the staircase and drag it outside in the middle of the night wearing only a tank top and booty shorts. Then I had to run back inside, up the stairs and grab my 2 baby sisters, and get them to the car. 

My mom starts driving and mumbling and I'm like frozen. Literally, I'm breathing heavy my eyes are on the road and I'm just sitting there with the blankest expression. Kids just shouldn't have to go through that shit. Not like that. No, but then the next morning at the airport, last thing she says to me is "Don't tell your brothers or your father. No one." 

And then I find out a month later, she fucking goes back to him! So I'm like "You dumb bitch, don't be like me!" 

I obviously know where I get it from now. . .