I Never Loved You

one

I never thought that I would end up this way. I was in the "it" crowd. People went to me for advice, and took it because i had been the one to give it to them. And what was I now? Sitting alone lunch. No friends, or at least none who would stand up to my ex- best friends and boyfriend by sitting with me. And my heart broken by someone who I had never even deserved to call my boyfriend.

All I could think of was how much I loved life before he came into it and messed it all up. It's a lie, he wasn't the reason my life we over. I was.
I remember when i had friends, a boyfriend and everyone liked me. As i watched the entire cafeteria whispered about me I think about what would happen if i jumped of the roof of a building or maybe i could take some pills out of my mom's medicine cabinet. No. I can't not now.

Who was there to catch me when I fall? Who actually cared what happened to me? My friends all made jokes. They hated me. Even my own sister was glaring at me from across the room and hadn't talked to me since she found out. And I couldn't even be mad or stand up for myself. I had done the only thing I promised myself i wouldn't do. I had cheated on my boyfriend, my confidant, my best friend. For someone I didn't even like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*one month ago*

It was Monday and as I got ready I decided I decided to wear my cheer uniform. It was only meant to be worn on game days, but I knew no one would be wearing it today and I liked to stand out. Putting my hair into a nice high pony tail I ran downstairs to get breakfast

My little sister Brianna was
downstairs eating cereal. Brianna was probably the sweetest sister ever. She looked up to me so much. Although we looked and acted so different, the result of having different dads.

I had light blonde curly hair with blue eyes. I was extremely short at 5'0. I had a nice body with natural curves and huge DD boobs, that practically shot out of my one size too small shirt.

Whereas she had dark brown short spiky hair, that went out in every direction when she styled it, with matching eyes and she was taller then me at 5'4. Unlike me she was a stick with no ass or boobs. Even so she was beautiful. She could have easily been in a popular crowd but instead stayed away from people.

Normally mom would be down here making breakfast and getting ready for work.

"Hey wheres mom?" I asked confused "Did she sleep through her alarm again? "

"No she left for work early she said the office needed her for some important case or whatever"

"Oh okay" I said skeptically
Mom never devoted too much time into work. In fact she had just 3 years ago decided to go back to being a layer. She didn't want me to grow up with her out of the house all the time so she stopped working to be a house wife shortly after she had me. Then after the divorce she picked up another job, until she met my step-dad and Brianna's father a year after the divorce. She decided me and Brianna were all grown up and continued working like before. I could tell she still had doubts because she only ever worked half days and was always home to make dinner. It was weird having her go into work at all let alone so early.

"Hey? Sarah? " Brianna said bringing me out of my thought and snapping her fingers in front of my face

"What?" I snapped. I loved my sister but god she can be so annoying.

"Can we go to school now ? Gosh" she practically whispered. Another thing she got from her dad was her shy attitude.

Whereas I was very enthusiastic she seemed to shy away. Picking friends with the stoners and outcasts.

I could see why she fit in with them. She listened to goth bands and there posters covered her bedroom. I remember when she had tried to get me to listen to some band called Twenty One Pilots and I thought my ears drums were going to break from the loud screaming that lasted the entire song!