Have you ever just wondered why the hell does this have to happen to me? Like, out of all the people in the world, I end up moving halfway across the state to California just because mom got a job offer that she just couldn't pass up? This could have happened to a billion other people, but nooooo. Instead, I become miserable and have to leave all my friends.
I'm emptying my last box of clothes right now then my room will finally fucking be done. I start school tomorrow, Monday. Yay, starting in the middle of freshman year, every girls dream. Not. Sorry if I'm complaining a lot but life sucks right now. Before I go any further, let me give you a brief summary of me. My name's Aubrey Rose. I'm 15 years old and a freshman, now at Badger High school in Compton, California. I live with my mom, no siblings, no dad. He left my mom before I was born, that fucker. Anyways, I guess I'll give you a description of my ugly ass. I have long emo style hair, most people call it. Its jet black, just how I like it. I have blue eyes and black framed big glasses. Right now, I'm wearing my favorite dark red and black flannel and black stretchy pants. I'm emo by the way, as if you couldnt tell. Everyone can tell...they ask about my scars, worried. I tell them I'm fine...same old lie gets old, right? Anyways, don't wanna bore you with my depressing ass, so I'll get back to the day.
It was 5:00 right now, mom was in the kitchen, dinner almost done. I could smell she was making chicken and dumplings, yum! Eh, but my mind was still on school tomorrow. I was nervous as fuck...I've never had to transfer schools. I know I'm gonna get judged and I know I shouldn't give two fucks what they think but...I do. I really do. Once I finally had all my clothes put away, I fell onto my bed, exhausted. I just want this day to end. On second thought...I'd rather this day go on so that tomorrow don't come. Ugh. I guess I'll pick out a decent outfit right now, cause god knows I'll be too lazy in the morning, ha. I went over to my closet and shifted through my wardrobe. Black, black, oh wait! Wait...black. Haha. I grabbed a black tee shirt, but then stopped. I looked down at my arms, scared and red as fuck. I cleared my throat, put the shirt back and switched it out for a long sleeved tight black shirt. I went to my dresser and in the third drawer, grabbed my favorite black mini skirt. I figured, what the hell? Look cute. Why don't ya? I out these clothes on my hot pink bean bag in the corner, ready for tomorrow, when I heard mom calling for me that dinner was ready. I ate silently that night, mom asking occasionally if I was nervous and shit like that. I out my bowl in the sink and told mom I was going to bed. I went into my room, light off, and went on Instagram. I missed my old friends a shit ton, so I went on my friend Taylors Instagram. I shifted through her pics of us, laughing st memories. Then, i got a notification of a new post she put. It was a pic of her and our worst enemy Haley Sherman. The caption read "my new main😚". I stared at the comment in disbelief. She already replaced me? And out of everyone she could have replaced em with, she replaced me with HER? I started breathing heavy, feeling as though my world has come to an en. I quickly got out of bed and went into the bathroom across the hall. I locked the door behind me and pulled out my razor. I turned the faucet on full blast so mom wouldn't hear me. I pulled the razor across my thighs, ripping my skin into a red cascade of lines. The blood slowly flowed down my leg and onto our white tiled floor. Shit I forgot the fucking towel. I continued pulling the razor on my thigh with the most strength I could muster. After the third cut, I started feeling light headed. I put the razor down and shut my eyes for a minute. I took deep breaths. It didn't hurt at all, to be honest. It gave me a rush. I cleaned up the floor then with a dark blue towel and threw the towel away. I put some pajama pants on with a mini hello kitty tank top and climbed into bed. Thank god the day was over, like fuck this shit. But wait til tomorrow...
