Lost

Chapter 1

Bella's pov.

"Don't cave in Bella, you can do this. Just one more day without eating. You can eat an apple or something small tomorrow. Don't give up"

The words went through my head like knives it hurt starving myself but it was worth it. I'm no longer fat, but in my eyes I'm far from skinny. I've already been to the hospital because of this and the doctors diagnosed me with anorexia. It's a killing disease, yet the kind I want.

I tried to attempt suicide but my mom walked in on me. Talk about an awkward situation. That's when I was diagnosed with depression. No surprise there because I could have told you that one my self.

I've been slowly falling apart but nobody's there to catch my pieces. Now I only have one friend & that's Emily. She knows about my problems & she gets frustrated when I don't stop. I can't stop. I want to die.

"Bells, are you ready?" Emily called out

"Just a second"

I threw on a pair of shorts and a long sleeve shirt. It's probably really hot out but I can't take the risk of somebody seeing my scars.

I stumbled my way down the stair and walked out to Emily's blue Camero. Usually I drive but she said she has a surprise for me.

10 minutes later we end up at the mall. What the actual fuck? She knows I hate the mall. Fml

"Emily, why are we at the mall?"

"Because I'm going to buy you a cute outfit" she responded.

"For what?" I asked.

"Well I bought us two tickets to see one direction tomorrow!" She said bluntly.

"Is this some type of joke?" I asked

"Nope" Emily said piping the "p"

"I'm not going to see the dumb one direction in concert. There's no way on hell." I stated.

"Please? It's on your birthday. Please just once doing something fun!" She begged

"Fine whatever"

We walked into Hollister & I found a cute pair of ripped jeans. After I went to journeys and got a pair of grey vans. Then I went to Charlotte ruse and bought a black blazer with an aztec shirt underneath. If I must say it was a successful day of shopping.

Emily dropped me off at my house and told me to be ready by 3 tomorrow. Greatttttt, I get to see the one person that caused all of this. The guy who broke my heart and shattered it to pieces. This should be fun.

I woke up the next morning around noon. Wow, sense I don't eat I lose my energy. My stomach growled as I stood up but I ignored it. Oh, did I forget to mention my part are in Africa for about 7 more months? Yeah, they. Didn't want to have to worry about me so they told me to stay here. How nice are they.

I went down stairs and ate some fruit salad. I guess I can let it slide sense it's my 18th birthday. I would much rather be drinking then going to a dumb concert. I know it's illegal and all but who cares.

I walked back up stair and passed my sisters old room. She was a year younger then me. Her name was jasmine. She lived without a care in the world until she got kidnapped. A month later her body was found on our door step, dead. I miss her to this day. It's been a hard six months but I'm slowly moving on.

It's now 1 o'clock and I haven't done anything. I hopped in the shower real quick and when I got out I blow dried my bleach blonde long hair to my natural wave. I put smokey eye make on to pop out my crystal blue eyes then i put some cover up. I headed over to my closet to put on my jeans, vans & aztec shirt.

I took a glance in the mirror and all I could see was my flaws. My too skinny figure, my scars, and my ugliness. A lot of people say they envy me but they must be blind. I even got a modeling job but I just thought it was some kind of sick joke.

I walked out of my house & Emily was already it there waiting. Ill admit, she looks beyond gorgeous. She has no flaws. I wish I could be her.

"Happy birthday bella! You look gorgeous as always" Emily said.

"I guess" I replied

She just shook her head as she started the car. Great, I'm going to be seeing thee Harry Styles in concert.

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Sorry for the short chapter. They will get bigger. Anyway, I hope you like it! Vote/comment/share!