♥My Love Life♥

My Heart Ack!!

 Wow! I can't believe I am 16 now. My life is changing a lot. I am coming up from being that girl that was another rap victim to be an high ranked in JROTC in the ninth grade. Or being that girl that pulls out her hair because she don't know how to feel because her uncle betrayed her. I am just a little girl I was only 15. All i can do is wounder is it my fault or what did I do to make him feel the way that he did.Even though my mom said she don't care what i could have did or said she was wrong. That she didn't care it I was standing in front of my uncle butt necked that he was still wrong. He helped raised me and help me with all of my problems that I have had in my life  but he can turn around and do this to me. So it is my fault that everything you did to me in more than one time was going on. So it is my fault that i want to love women and don't date me because of what happened. So i am the reason you got me drunk without me knowing it and raping me in front of my little sister when you though she was sleep. No this is your fault because you had betrayed my trust and shown me that I can't trust everyone not even my family. So it is your fault that i don't want to love a man but i want to love a female so he won't do what you did to me. I feel that you have did me wrong and you didn't even care about what you did to me. You just want to have fun with my body. The one person that I can say i have always had my trust in beside my mother,grandmother,and grandfather has shown me that i am not worth it. I have had a lot of people tell me i am worthless but even though you did not tell me that with words actions speak louder then words. Where is my life going to start from here because I am not the person that seen you as the best  person in the world that will never be hurt by you. Where should i go from here because i don't know were to began  with processing this and what you did to me and me not knowing what happen to me or the  most or all you did this to me around my little sister. Do you know how bad that can effect her in her life and mine. The  one thing i will promise me   and my family from this  day until the end of time if anything happen to my little sisters or brothers and I find out about it I will be on  my way to jail because even though I  could not protect myself I will protect them until the end of the world. Me life is living hell but I have to deal with all because i want to be  able  to show  my family that i can make something out of my self even though i am a  grade behind does not mean that i can not successed. There are a lot of places for me to be me i just need to find  who i am and live that life as a child and keep going in life.