In The Lights

Chapter 15

No way. Did that really happen? Did I really let that happen? I couldn't have. Oh, but I did. But why did I decide to do that? How could I go from talking with Colson about our relationship to kissing someone completely different later that night? How am I even gonna tell Colson? Am gonna tell him? Who am I gonna choose? 

I slid on a pair of red ankle-length capri's and a B&W Los Angeles crop top. I tied my hair up into a high ponytail with a butterfly hair band. The house was silent. No TV's were on, no music was playing and no windows were open. Just how I wanted it. As I buckled my sandals and prepared to leave, my phone chimed, making me a jump a little. I pulled it from my back pocket and looked at the notifications. 

'You say you're just a friend. (; -Austin Mahone' 

Awesome. So now not only does Colson think we're getting back together, but Austin also thinks we're something more. 

I've decided not ot go to the studio anymore. Because if I do, not only will my dad want me to occupy Austin in his down time, but I would also have to be with Colson and whoeve I wasn't with would wonder why and where I was. So, to occupy my time I either work with Talia on the clothing line, or, recently I started writing again, something I use to do a lot when I was younger, and I've really found a lot of comfort in it. 

After ordering my drink, I sat at a table in the corner and pulled out my computer. Often times, I didn't know what I was writing about. My fingers just touched the keys and words appeared on the screen. I always felt in the moment, comfortable, free, when I wrote. No one could ever judge me in the imaginary world that I wrote of.  

I jumped when I heard my phone go off again, as I was the only one in the cafe. I checked my phone, only to find a text from Colson, and also a text from Austin. After debating which I should open first, my fingers danced around the screen before choosing Colson's name. 

"I was thinking we could talk..? - Colson" 

I agreed. We did need to talk. Especially after what happened the other night. I needed to know where we stood and whether or not we were gonna fix things. 

It was about 1 o'clock in the afternoon when I returned to my house. Still, no one was there. Colson arrived a few minutes after I did and we sat on the cold tile floor in my room. We sat silent. Neither of us said a word. Were we too afraid? Possibly. Nervous? Maybe. Confused? Definitely.  

"I do love you." Colson finally mumbled. I looked over at him and nodded. 

"I love you too." 

"Then why are we doing this? Why are we forcing ourselves to be unhappy and sad all the time?" His voice grew louder. 

"Like I told you, I refuse to be in a relationship where we just argue all the time." I sighed and rubbed my face in irritation. 

"So what are we going to do? Because I can't lose you again, Hay... I'll do whatever you want me to." Colson sighed. His eyes grew watery and his face flushed white. 

The words that were going to slip from my mouth, I knew I would soon regret. 

"Let's have an open relationship then.." His eyes grew wide. I looked back at him, a little fearful of what he might say. 

"Open?" 

"Not necessarily open.. More like friends with benefits.. We do better as friends anyway.. Less arguing." I nodded, agreeing with the words I said. 

"And you're sure you want this?" I nodded slowly. 

"Yes." 

.~.~.~.~. 

Alright, so I didn't tell Colson about the other night when I kissed Austin. But now considering our "relationship status," I really don't have to. It's irrelevant. I stepped out of the elevator and onto the 5th floor, smiling when I saw a tall figure coming toward me. 

"Hey, I was starting to think you were ignoring me." He smiled more and pulled me close, kissing my forehead. 

"I saw your tweet. And got your texts. I've just been busy." I replied. Something about Austin made me get butterflies. I'm not sure whether it was the way he smelled or his hugs or his smile or even his personality. But whatever it was, it made me feel different than when I was with Colson. 

"My tweet.. Right," He smiled again. "So what did you think of it?" I shrugged. 

"I don't know. I mean, the last time I rushed into a relationship in the Hollywood Eye, it was over within a couple weeks," My voice caught in my throat a little, the memories coming back to me. 

"Right, I remember that." He rolled his eyes.  

"Austin." 

"Hayden." He mocked my tone. "I'm not like that guy." I was tempted to correct him and say Colson, but I decided it was best not too. "And I know we've only known each other for a couple weeks and it's similar to the circumstances of your last boyfriend, but I care about you Hayden. And I'm fine not being in the public eye for as long as you don't want us to be. I just want you." He smiled again. 

I couldn't help but think of Colson. Even though we defined our relationship, and that gave me the right to be with Austin, there was still a little piece of my heart that was telling me to run back into his arms. 

I stared into Austin's eyes and he stared back into mine. We both shared a smile as he pulled me into a hug tightly. 

"Well? Are you my girlfriend?" He laughed, picking me up and spinning me around. 

"Alright, alright! Yes, I'll be your girlfriend." I giggled as he came to a stop and pecked my lips. 

"Good." I tanngled my fingers in his short hair and nuzzled my head into his chest, smiling. 

Maybe this friends with benefits thing was a good idea afterall.