Surrogate Child ( Completed )

Chapter 15 - clash

JERA'S POV

It had been hell staying at that woman's life, I thought I won over her but I guess I did not. Of course you did not, stupid! What the hell are you doing right now?

"SHIT!!!" bigla kong pinalo yung isang pot ng halaman. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? A BOSS!? WOW! Kiss my ass! Damn it! I never worked for my entire 24 years tilling the ground yet right now? Look what I'm up to. Holding a spade and digging soil, making some plots for her damn plants and the sun is freakin' burning my hot body!

You might ask me why I'm doing this? It's because I came home drunk, TWICE doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like some slave. Oh no! Worst than being drunk.

FLASH BACK!

Napaungol ako sa sakit ng ulo at katawan. Awwch! Ang sakit talaga ng ulo ko at gusto kong matulog ulit pero may kumikiliti sa paa ko kaya napabalikwas ako ng bangon.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" bulyaw ko kay Micha na karga karga si baby habang winawagayway ang feather duster sa mukha ko.

"obvious ba? Kinikiliti kita para gumising ka." sabi nito. Napadako ang mata ko sa labi niya. And I remember how I kissed her last night. I mean, I was drunk so I almost raped her but she was strong and thank God I did not harm her. I should have not done it, but because I puked, she started to undress me so I was provoked to do stupid things. Damn! I don't want to think how I'm desperate to shack her up! GROSS! It's like reading a news with a headline "a handsome man raped her landlady". Nah! I never thought I can go this far. I almost did a heinous crime because of that stupid liquor.

"Ahm-- sorry about last night!" I know, this is not me. I don't ask for forgiveness but damn it! I am doing it right now, in front of this lady. Arrgh! I just don't want her to think that I'm some horny teen ager trying to get under her pants. If ever I want to make love to her, I wanted to take her willingly. Hell! Where did those stupid thoughts came from? 

"Buti naman at na alala mo pa. At bilang parusa, kailangan mong gumising jan at may ipapagawa ako sa yo." sabi nito at lumabas.

End of Flash back.

"Hangga't hindi ka pa tapos jan, hindi kita pakakainin. Naintindihan mo? Ginagawa ko ito para matuto ka, hindi yung puro ka reklamo, wala ka ngang ginagawang matino, sakit ka pa sa ulo, puro problema ang dulot mo simula ng makasalumpalad kita. Hay naku, ewan ko kung bakit ka lumaking ganyan. Kawawa naman pala ako kung ako ang pakakasalan mo. (YEAH WHO TOLD YOU I'LL MARRY YOU! BITCH!) baka mamatay pa ako ng maaga. (NOW! THAT'S A GOOD NEWS! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!)" pagdadakdak niya.

"JUST SHUT YOUR FREAKIN MOUTH! BITCH!" sigaw ko sa kanya. She's worst than my mother. SUCKS! I'm beginning to lose my patience. She demands like I'm a robot yet she mocks me like I'm some useless handsome guy! Wow! Is this some kind of punishment of being a SPERM DONOR! Nah! Fuckin' worst than my wildest dream!

"HOY! May gana ka pang manigaw jan. Sa susunod na umuwi ka pang lasing, hindi lang yan ang matitikman mo. Maglalasing lasing ka tapos uuwi ka dito sa pamamahay ko. Dinungisan mo na ang aking munting bahay at hindi lang yun, nagkalat ka pa sa kung saan saan. Sino ba ang naglinis ng mga yun? IKAW? AKO yung naglinis nun Jera na dapat ay ikaw sana pero dahil hindi mo nga mahawakan ang sarili mong laway at hindi lang yun muntik mo pa akong--" hindi niya nasabi lahat dahil sa iyak nung baby at iniwan ako. Kung hindi pa umiyak yung baby, baka hindi pa siya tapos sa kasesermon sa akin.

So what? I throw up because I'm drunk but I did not force her to clean it. I told him to throw those rags but she couldn't so it's not my fault. And it's not my fault that I almost raped her, she provoked me so it's her fault, not mine.

"Just because I get drunk doesn't mean you can treat me like this. Damn it Mica! Just wait for my turn." bwisit na buhay toh.

SUNDAY

"Will you move faster!? Malalate na naman tayo ng dahil sa yo. Just do it for the baby!" she couldn't stop glaring at me.

"Why are you always going to church? Oh come on Mica, we both know how evil you are!" hindi ko maiwasang sabihin.

"What? You think of me as the evil one. Oh come on, you really don't understand and it's a waste of time for me to explain because it will only lead to argument. How many times did I told you that what I am doing is for your own sake. Why wont you take my actions positively, I'm sure balang araw babalik ka sa akin para magpasalamat." nakangiting sabi niya. Okay, I don't understand whatever she is saying. All I want to do is wring her neck for letting me work under the sun for almost five hours yesterday. But I just can't hurt her. I don't know why I can't lay a single hand on her even if I wanted to.

Sunudsunuran na lang ako sa kanya hanggang sa dumating kami sa simbahan nila. Of course, people were looking at us with their scrutinizing eyes. Damn it people. I can't believe you're accusing us when you're inside the church, why don't you focus at the one speaking in front. Gusto kong isigaw sa mga mukha nila. Tumingin ako kay Micha, nakarelax lang ito at ngumingiti pa at nakikipag handshake sa mga tao dito. Nakikipag-usap siya sa mga kababaihan at nagtatawanan pa sila. Ako lang ang walang kausap. Pero mamaya may nakipagshake hand din sa akin. My my, I can't believe they are all pretending to be good. Hah! I should have not come here. This place is well, cozy but I don't know if they're genuine with their actions or not. And I'm bored.

Hanggang sa may tumayo at nag-awitan sila, darn! I was out of placed. I don't know the songs, not a single one. Pero may naririnig akong pinapatugtog si Micha noon pag nasa bahay kami but I'm not interested. May mga lalaki din silang kasama, muntik na akong matawa sa sitwasyon ko. If my friends were here, they would be laughing and mocking me, telling me I am a gay. Well. That's what I thought when you join a Christian group.

"Okay ka lang!" biglang may bumulong sa akin. I just nodded and concentrated on the message that the pastor was preaching. It's about being born again! That you need to repent, be baptized in water and in spirit for you to be saved. And I want my soul to be saved of course. Usually, I don't stay focus on seminars and meetings because it's boring but what I don't understand is that I'm getting interested in their topic. My full attention was on what the pastor was teaching. Damn! This is really crazy, I think I'm going insane.

Pagkatapos ng service ay nagkamayan ulit kami bago kami lumabas. Parang ang saya dito, a feeling that I've never felt before when I'm inside the club house, sa mga gigs kasama ang barkada, sa mga inuman at kung anu-ano pa na pinag gagawa ko noon. I have been to church before, kasama ang parents ng mom ko and with my family pero nong bata pa ako, like age 7 to 12 but I never understand why people go to church, I just think that maybe it's an obligation or compulsory that people should do, go there and display their new clothes, to find a mate, boyfriend or girlfriend, for people to believe that you're religious and that you can not commit a crime but on the other hand, it's just a make belief, a disguise to lure people so I told myself that going to church is just nothing but I was wrong. And somehow, other people would have different reasons but some people were serious about it. There is more.

"Anong nginingiti ngiti mo diyan?" tanong ni Micha habang inaayos yung cover ni baby.

"Nothing!" napabuntong hininga ako. I can't believe me thinking like I'm not me.!