Walking The Line - a Clexa modern AU

The Things This Does To Me

Clarke's Pov

The semester was about half done, only a few months to go now and I was pretty confident about passing it. I had to, all those hours of sleep I never got to actually use for sleep couldn't be for nothing. I had been here for three months now. It had been pure bliss, all work and friends.

Bellamy and I were a real team, always understanding each other and having a blast bossing everyone around, Rav and O have proven to be amazing girls and I really valued our friendship a lot. They had gotten pretty close themselves which made me wonder sometimes about the true nature of their relationship.

I hadn't think of Finn for a while now and whenever I thought of my dad it wasn't filled with sadness. Everything about my life was great except my relationship with Lexa or rather its inexistence. Ever since our amazing make out session two months ago she was pushing me away. I wasn't hurt about it, not really, it just made me sad for her. Everytime she was around me, I could see how she was loosing up, she was less tensed, she smiled more and it warmed my heart but as soon as she was to interact with me, she tried to hide it, to not look me in the eye, sometimes even ignoring me in the corridors.

But I never showed any hurt or resentment about it. I just acted as if everything was normal, trying to make her laugh, being rather tactile with her and of course always winking at her. I could see that it was driving her crazy and it made it even better. She clearly intended to forget about following me into the bathroom and kissing me senseless. Maybe it was better this way as long as we didn't get too close... But that would be lying to ourselves because we already were, we talked a lot during our meetings, the only times she wasn't closing herself to me. We were getting close but we did not talk about it, we didn't act on it.  She wasn't ready I could see that but sometimes it was infuriating as she was clearly bothered and it would be so great if she just gave into her desires... But I couldn't force her, I wouldn't.

I thought about Murphy. Maybe I could give him a shot...  

« Hey there daydreamer » I looked up from where I was sitting to see Bellamy smiling at me. He really was handsome, I wondered why Gina was so hesitant.

« Bell ! Hey, you're right on time, I need your help with something. »

He sat down beside me, ready to come to my rescue.

« Do you think I should give Murphy a shot ? »

He laughed throwing his head back.

« Tired of waiting for your warrior, princess ? »

I shook my head.

« Not so much, but a simple date can't hurt. »

As soon as the words escaped my lips I realised how wrong it was. Dating Murphy while having somebody else in mind would be disrespectful.

« You know what nevermind. I can't go on a date with Murphy while my feelings aren't sorted." It wouldn't be right, not for me, not for him, not for her... I wasn't like that.

"So we're talking about feelings now?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I was so grateful for Bellamy, he had become such an important part of my life.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I'm not in love with her or something I just... When we're working on the student's project, which is almost every saturday, she's just so different from what she can be in class, she's carefree, she laughs, she actually talks to me about herself, about her aspirations... She literaly glows... It's hard not to fall for her when you add that to her delectable body and those beautiful green eyes." I had gotten to liking her in the past few days, she was so much fun to be around when not tensed and all about her duties. Bell laughed.