Absolutely (Marcelee)

Closer

Closer

Here come the dreams of you and me.

– Tegan and Sara

Lately these days, Ice King raves about "Fionna and Cake in the Land of Aaa."

Marceline is curious.

Ice King's gender-bent fanfictions are kinda bad. So bad, actually, that listeners run for the hills unless bound hand-to-foot which is exactly how Ice King goes about spreading fanfic joy. Sociopathic old fart. But she'll always humor him. And she's mildly intrigued by these stories anyway. He tells them with such vivid conviction that they almost sound real. Maybe it's a fanboy thing. Or maybe Ice King has just reached new levels of crazy.

Either way, Marceline is curious.

Tonight at the Ice Castle, she hovers unnoticed over Ice King and his four guest – well they're in cages so more like captive—princesses. Slime Princess, Wildberry Princess, Toast Princess, and Turtle Princess wail all together about ear torture and how this latest story is terrible, what if there was a little more romance? And of course Ice King fusses right back about how logical his self-cameo is in his own fic and y'all are some haters, man. The arguing could probably go on way into the night except Marceline feels like crashing this storyfest, now.

She makes the princess cages swing open and Ice King's robes flap over his head. Candles flicker and windows blow open. Just minor telekinesis tricks, no big deal. But it's still a laugh to see big bad (not really) Ice King freak out and the princesses break out in un-royal sweat.

Meanwhile she'll just casually lounge on the ice throne and introduce her presence with "Boo."

"Marceline!" Ice King jumps, then looks relieved. Yeah, 'cause Marceline the Vampire Queen is totally harmless. "How long have you been in here?"

"Mmm… couple hours."

"You heard my story then! Awesome, right?"

"It's… good?" It's alright if liars go to Hell; she's like the princess over there anyway. "But listen up y'all. I've got a story of my own."

Marceline's eyebrow-waggle is irresistible. Ice King and the princesses forget they're in a hostage situation and settle down.

How hard could it be to make up a dumb gender-bender Land-of-Aaa story?

'Marshall Lee the Vampire King' comes to storytelling life. He's brash and smooth and Marceline with a penis, and when she narrates the part where he rocks out at the forest party like a bad little boy the four princesses swoon. It's just smugness talking, but Marceline is pretty confident she'd make one fly vampire guy. A graveyard battle and an epic non-confession later, she finishes this Fionna & Cake story with a simple

"The end."

Stories are just stories and they're not hard at all. The princesses clap and Ice King complains but clearly he's going to rip off her Marshall Lee idea.

"But look, we could polish this piece off," he wheedles at Marceline's side. She's slightly smug. "Like if Marshall Lee gets sick and dies, but he's got a brother we didn't know about! His name's Marshall Lee...roy. Boom, shocker, I feel goosebumps!"

Slime Princess says what everyone else thinks. "I like how it is…"

"… Everyone get out," Ice King grits his teeth like he's about to cry rivers, so everyone else shrugs and goes back home.

And that's how Marceline saves four princesss without lifting a finger. She better understands the appeal of fanfiction now. Well, time for something else to do…