Flutter Fuck

1| Broken Glass

Slowly, I rise from my seat and stuff my belongings into my drawstring bag, tears rolling down my eyes as I realize just how heavy my shoulders really are without someone to encourage them to go on. My eyes drag themselves over the image of the woman who birthed me trying to hold onto her precious glass bottle, painful screams stinging at the bottom of her lungs.

"Lana," the woman in a navy blue suit says. "I know-"

I shake my head, pushing past her. "You. Don't. Know. Shît." I say through gritted teeth as I take place on the leather seat of a gray Mustang.

The woman who declares her name to be Lauren, sighs and signals the man at the driver's seat to start the engine. Lauren gets in the passenger seat, and turns around to face me. "It's for the best, Lana."

Instead of answering like I normally would, I grit my teeth and bite my tongue. Simply, I roll my eyes and wipe away at the angry tears. Eventually my eyes begin to droop and the image of my kneeling mother at her bottle as a cop cuffs her wrists, blurs between the darkness I've come to know so well.

It doesn't seem long before I feel a hand shaking my shoulder, making me jerk awake and flinch back at the touch. "Lana, it's just me." A voice says as I screw my eyes shut, waiting for the harsh contact to meet my skin.

However, the blow doesn't come and as I open my eyes hesitantly the woman from earlier becomes clear– behind her, a nice house with walls covered in chipping yellow paint, the sun enlightening the grass surrounding it.

"Are you okay, De–"

"I'm fine." I sigh unevenly, stepping out of the car. "What are we doing here? We are we?" I ask, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Lauren seems uneasy about my reaction, and frankly, it was my fault for letting that slip. "Well, your information is still being processed by the board, but we managed to find a family willing to house you in the meantime." She continues, despite herself.

I groan. "I'm seventeen, I can manage myself just fine and I don't need a couple of snot bags treating me like they know me."

"Lana, I know your situation isn't exactly ideal –"

I snort as we stand at the porch. "Really?"

"–but," Lauren continued giving me a look. "you have to understand that your mother needs help. I'm not saying she wasn't a good person, but her choices could jeopardize your future."

I release air through my nostrils and glare. "Lauren?" A voice meddles before I can say anything. I turn to the direction of the voice, where a woman who seems to be in her thirties stands with a smile over her features.

"Emma!" Lauren exclaims, reaching to the woman for a hug. "How are you and Dylan?" She says.

Emma motions for us to step in, and hesitantly, I follow behind Lauren. "We're doing great. You must be Kara!"

I kiss my teeth. "It's Lana." I say defensively, griping the edges of my sweater tightly as I stand in the middle of an open living room. "Why are you doing this?"

"Lana!" Lauren scolds, but I ignore her as Emma speaks up.

"No, no. It's okay." She tells Lauren. "I'm doing this because I believe no one should have to carry the weight of someone else's mistakes over their shoulders. No matter how strong they are for doing so."

"Bullshît." I snort. "You can't possibly be doing this because of that. How much are they paying you?"

Lauren frowns. "Lana, that's enough."

"Nobody is paying me anything, and I'm sorry you feel that I'd be willing to help you for money." Emma sighs.

There's a look in her eyes, that for a moment, makes me feel as if her intentions were genuine like she says. The moment, however, is gone as quick as it came as I remember the amount of times I've fallen for that look before only to be left alone to pick up the pieces of what's left of me after the person shows their true colors.

With that lingering look in her eyes as she stares at me, I begin to feel uncomfortable and decide to do the one thing I've learned always works. Shrug it off, and add more bricks to my unbreakable wall. "Whatever." I say, lowering my gaze elsewhere.

Lauren sighs, before turning to me. "Could you excuse us for a minute?"

"Where am I supposed to go? In case you forgot, this isn't my house."

Emma looks to me and points down a long hallway. "Your room is down that hall, the second to last on the right." She says, and I nod rolling my eyes and begin walking. "Aren't you going to take your things in with you?"

I stare at her. "These are my things." I point to my bag, and sigh as I walk my way down the long hallway. My eyes land on a white door with a silver knob and I immediately cringe as soon as my eyes fall over the bright pink walls. "Oh, fvck me."

"Gladly, Sugar." A voice says, startling me. I turn around and lower my gaze a foot or so to what seems to be a ten year old boy with a Pokemon shirt.

My eyes narrow. "You seem a little, small for my liking, kid. Try again in a couple centuries." I say, rolling my eyes and closing the door in his face.

"You'll come around eventually, they always do!" He shouts at the other side as I let myself fall onto the mattress covering a large bedding set.

I sigh heavily, staring up at the white ceiling. "What the fvck, is my life?"

Song of Chapter:

Even My Dad Does Sometimes by Ed Sheeran